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Why are there so many women of all ages on here that continue to return to abusive relationships or chase after ex's?

Seems that self esteem and the definition of insanity would prevail? (Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result)
SW-User Best Comment
They do not start off abusive usually.
Why do people abuse is the other side of the coin?
That must be some type of mental illness as well the need to punish others for past hurts.
Sabotaging the relationship and ending up alone and then doing it again with the next person.
There is a theory that codependents are attracted to and attract narcissistic personalities and the narcissistic personality are attracted to the codependent.
In the short term the narcissist gets someone who listens to them and the codependent gets to believe she/he is helping him/her.
Problem is the narcissist gets mean and accuses the codependent of not helping and the codependent becomes a martyr that starts to believes in their own martyrdom.

Starcrossed · 41-45, F
The cycle of abuse is SO hard for some of us to break. While it may seem like a simple black and white solution, there are many excuses, many reasons someone can't get out of that cycle.
Peaches · F
Fear and not really having any emotional support keeps them there, or returning. They need help that they often can't find. It's even harder when they have no family or friends to help.
SW-User
Your profile says you work with addicts
Similar themes
Mktonght · 61-69, M
@SW-User So addiction to sex, misery, abuse, what all would cause someone to repeat? I understand drug and alcohol addictions but not the amount of women who seem to need a man?
SW-User
@Mktonght
Why does anyone turn to an addiction and become an addict? And why isn't your focus on men who abuse, as if this is the fault of the woman...
Google "Cycle of abuse"
Abusive men offer great things; some deliberately hook a woman in
And then the abuse begins
The cycle like addiction is very hard to break
Peaches · F
@Mktonght Learned behavior.
MissMoon · 26-30, F
Could be many reasons including low self-esteem and feeling validation from the relationship or they hold an attachment to their ex.
greenmountaingal · 70-79, F
For many, love consists mostly of fantasies. So...it's hard to give up a fantasy and live with the ugly reality.
Aquarius39 · 41-45, F
Good question. I don't understand it either.
SW-User
Thanks for Best Answer

 
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