What's your take on open marriages ?

@SW-User I agree. That's why I still go to a counselor. I don't want to make another mistake by choosing yet another wrong woman for me.

- PRELUDE in F -
Sometimes when I share my thoughts, I can tend to sound preachy enough that people will ask "Who died and made you Princess Perfect?" To which I reply, "Whatever crawled up me and died to produce this" as I fart (and curtsy smiling sweetly of course)! And now, I shall whip out

- THE MEAT -
of the matter. (All that is a spoonful of sugar to make the medicine go down in a most delightful way.)

In order to function, we all regularly have to pretend we're living on a flat earth and moving in straight lines across fixed ground. Except for some few devoutly religious folks remaining steadfast to the Ancient Truth of the Flat Earth, most people understand that in reality we're standing on a ball constantly spinning inside a larger spin, and all our straight lines are really arcs. But for convenience we keep ourselves blinkered to that truth, and work within our "straight" beliefs proven to be false to facts.

I find in this a powerful analogy to our relationship with our minds and with each other, trying to maintain an orderly society, which is much like trying to balance standing on a ball. With practice we can stay up there, but it's natural and expected to fall.

The human heart (another lie -- "mind" is a bit less fictitious) is not faithful. You can pray all you want and not change that basic fact of life. I'm not saying: "Don't bother to be faithful!" Here's what I mean: Every time we pledge loyalty or devotion, every time we promise anything, we're making an admirable, noble effort, struggling towards an impossible goal of perfection in our imperfect animal beings, with our heads of gods and cloven hooves. I'm saying: Rejoice and celebrate when we've managed to stay true one more day to our Quixotic dream of faithfulness! But why waste time and energy making yourself miserable and hating your partner when the natural and expected failure occurs? I think that's why Jesus is reported to have said "Forgive your brother not seven times but seventy times seven." (Do some devout Christians keep track of the number of times they forgive, and stop forgiving as soon as they've reached Jesus's holy standard of 490? It's written in scripture, so that must be how we're supposed to live! And it says "brother," so that must be another reason women are treated like crap by so many religious fools.)

And this is one of my favorite things about Islam, and one way they're more advanced than Judaic and Christian traditions: They don't bother with the shame and guilt and pretending we humans can become just like the Perfect Eye in the Sky. They acknowledge Human Spirit trying to fit in the material world is a misfit, and s**t happens. Too many Christians who've never met a Muslim are ready to assume that means a license to be as nasty as you want; these are the same people who think "jihad" means "kill non-Muslims" when it really means that same struggle to impossibly keep promises which I described above. They're not perfect, they're not forgiven, they're just trying to do the right thing like everyone else. Their annual celebration of Ramadan is for meditation and repentance, trying to honestly admit their failings and figuring out how they can be better humans in the next year. And if you think "But I wouldn't bother to be good without knowing the Big Cop in the sky is watching me and the Big Burning Prison is waiting for me after death!" may I suggest you have an appallingly weak faith in your Creator and in yourself.

As Reverend Watt says, Here endeth the squirmin'. Go and piss.

@MissPriscillaPrim OMFG I liked you up to this point! What a shame. People are currently being whipped in the streets over Islam. Advanced my arse.

@SW-User it is when one partner earns a lot more than the other. Filing jointly often puts them in a lower tax bracket. That’s especially the case if it’s a one income household

A simple single person would be in the 25% tax bracket at $37,950 while acouppe wouldn’t until 75k. If a guy makes $50k a year, he’s go to th 15% bracket by marrying his girlfriend if she doesn’t work

@thekman9 I guess if one person doesn't work then yes it might be a good deal.

@JimminyChristmas What if one is forced into a marriage . It happens with atleast half of the arranged marriages .

@SW-User That is properly considered a sex slave. If someone is forced into marriage, then it is not really a marriage. I'm not being cruel, just very honest.

@JimminyChristmas In many under developed and developing countries its the parents that choose the mate of their children . Most of the romantic love marriages happen only in movies .

@SW-User Not exactly .The biases and prejudices against such relationships are global and should we be more open and accepting?

@CallmeHopelessNotRomantic Well that's a hard choice .

@SW-User I am sorry mademoiselle!...I beg to differ here!...Such a society may look good for a while but gradually there will come a day when humans will understand the importance of true love and respect for an individual. I am not against open marriages at all, it's utterly a couple's choice but I definitely cannot be in one!...☺

@BRICSruleNATOiscrybaby I understand . It is hard for someone conservative to fathom the dimensions of polyamory. For many people, though, polyamory is not curious at all — it’s just another way of organising life and love.

@SW-User You're right mademoiselle!...☺

I would never make that distinction, that they are psychopaths. If no one gets hurt, why not. The problem is that often someone does get hurt.

@samueltyler2 Perhaps it is the very concept, and constraint, of monogamy that has led to a resurgence in polyamory. There is also an element called fun and self-discovery on which we should not be closing our doors.
Open marriage is a marriage or relationship in which both partners agree that each may have sexual relations with others. It acknowledges a primary relationship.

@SW-User yes, I have read about it.

@SW-User That's really inspiring . Women like you truly deserve to be respected . Its heartening to see that women are becoming more confident and assured of themselves not only in the classroom but also in social settings.
Wrong barriers are meant to be broken .
As you mentioned about your new love , I don't see anything wrong with it . For years no one questioned men marrying girls half their age and it unfair to point fingers at a women in similar settings . I wish and hope that you both have a wonderful life ahead .
Never worry about past . Every experience helps us to learn and improve .

@SW-User Thank you for your wishes and kind words .
Yes we both are planning to move in together . He is a great man and told me that he is going to go against his parent's advices and wishes and choose to be with me .
That's the courage I admire in a man .

@SW-User what an adventure you have been on. More power to you in any relationship it must have communicating. Open or not.

@cloudi It is hard for someone conservative to fathom the dimensions of polyamory. For many people, though, polyamory is not curious at all — it’s just another way of organising life and love.

@thekman9 Well as a single man or a woman , you are not at all restricted . The options need to be explored once you get married .

@DownTheStreet yes . There should be a freedom for both partners to explore , then the open marriages works out well. After all ,Erotic love is based on the notion of exclusivity.

@SW-User A fair bit of time I think it would be better for the relationship i am in, and more for her than me.

@DownTheStreet That's great . This should suit you then .The biases and prejudices against such relationships are global and shouldn't we be more open and accepting?

@SW-User I have been in an open relationship. It didn't work for me.

There are many people capable of being happy without a companion. Have you ever known or read about Buddhist monks?

Humans are social beings, true. But the degree of social interactions that fulfills them varies. Relationships can be too much for some.

@Miram I understand . Its always interesting and refreshing to see how different dynamics work . I always felt the need for a male partner . Infact I have stayed away from men for nearly a decade but I feel incomplete without a man in my life .
About me , people consider me as a vamp or a bitch . Initially I used to get hurt but now I am used to it . I have seen it all .
I have been through a really bad marriage . I got married in my early twenties. I was a typical wife who respected each and every wish and needs of my husband and his family . Yet , my in-laws had problems when I returned home late from work . Eyebrows were raised . I could hear some unhealthy murmers about me . And most painfully my husband too was blindly supporting my in-laws . I was helpless . Post marriage I had only one person whom I could have looked up to and he too is not receptive to my feelings . I had to quit a promising job and stay as a house wife . Still things were going tough and my husband had to relocate to a different country . But I had to stay back to take care of his ailing parents . During this period I decided to break my shackles and break the bond . I am glad that I have come out of it . After a lot of hardwork and determination I could finally get a job and over the years I have reached the senior management level of a multinational company .
All my experiences in my life have made me less receptive towards a holy committed relationship . I don't believe there exists one .
I stayed away from men over a decade and now that I found someone comfortable to hang around problem still exists . This time its regarding my age and my marriage resume (I am a divorcee) . My boyfriend is 18 years younger than me . I am 40 and he is 22 . He is an intern in my company . But the fact is that we both get along well .
He loves me a lot but his parents in not inline with his thinking . They blame me for spoiling their son and even threatens me with words and even hurt me .
All these things makes me wonder what is true love .

@SW-User Proving my point... not that I assume my sermon matters to you or anyone; I just wanted to put it out there.

@SW-User Well ! every one has their own version .

@SW-User The biases and prejudices against such relationships are global and should we be more open and accepting?

@SW-User No. It isn't marriage if you're off fucking/loving other people outside of it. Marriage is supposed to be between only two people.

@SW-User We’re told that monogamy is the ‘right’ way to do relationships and anything outside of that is seen as ‘cheating.’ But relationships and love aren’t so black and white .