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Have you ever gone into a relationship thinking you could change that person more to your liking?

Never. Love means accepting a person for who they are, virtues and flaws. You help them grow into the person they wish to be. You cannot change people you love.
Fernie · F
@PoetryNEmotion WELL SAID! I feel that I have finally come to really KNOW what love and friendship truly mean in my old age...we always think we know what they are but actually do not...until we do..and one thing love truly is is acceptance...not of bad or abusive behaviors but loving the person to the core even with their flaws
@PoetryNEmotion Absolutely right. 👍🏼
Fernie · F
That makes no sense to me to do that. Why not just go and find the right person?
@MeInCharge Even if they believe they want to, it generally has to come from within or things get controlling and weird, and there's often resentment. That's why it usually doesn't work. 🙁
MeInCharge · 41-45, M
@bijouxbroussard I don't disagree with you. But love often overrides reason.
Fernie · F
@bijouxbroussard and that resentment almost always rears it's ugly head
SW-User
I guess yes

he wore old fashioned plaid underwear
he smoked
and he was very right wing
he now wear sexier underwear
stopped smoking
and my gentler ways have rubbed off on him /he changed
SW-User
[image=]
Fernie · F
@SW-User yuh...you are.
SW-User
hilarious isn't it
SailorMarz · F
What the hell? No. If i'm with that person, it's because i like them the way they are lol.
SW-User
No, just thinking they were different than I thought.
goneeee · F
That is why you get to know someone very well before you get serious. If it doesn't work out, you move on.
megrose · 56-60, F
I made the mistake of thinking I just loved him enough I could fix him. I bent over backwards trying to make him happy but in the end he ditched me. Ironic. Best thing he ever did for me.
MeInCharge · 41-45, M
@megrose It was still a hard lesson though, I'm sure.
megrose · 56-60, F
@MeInCharge absolutely, the hardest part being the price our children had to pay emotionally.
No, but I do always find myself being infatuated in relationships.
Fernie · F
@Stark infatuation blinds us to reality
@Fernie I agree.
SW-User
Nuppp I like them just the way they are
MeInCharge · 41-45, M
@SW-User OK, but what if they're a slob. You're not going to get them to pick up after themselves?
SW-User
@MeInCharge well I guess I wouldn't be with a slob in the first place. I don't believe in changing people I think you have to adapt to one another's differences and if you can't, your relationship won't work
Never. I wouldn't want to be seen as a"fixer upper" and I don't approach others in that way, either. 🤔

 
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