Help me out someone!

I met a guy about 8 months ago and he was upfront and honest saying he just wanted an affair and that suited me fine cos I don't want a relationship.

So we met up once a fortnight and now he says that he would like us to go out on a proper date for a meal and he would like to meet me from work.

I did say "but you only wanted an affair"
He replied: "I know. But I've grown really fond of you.

That sounds ok to some of you BUT and a big BUT, I don't fancy him anymore and the problem is that he has been really nice to me in the 8 months and never said anything out of order to me. That is why I feel so bad in wanting to tell him that I'm not really interested.

I can't say the old cliche 'it's not you. It's me' even though that is the truth.

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SW-User

I think honesty is the best policy in this situation. Tell him how you feel and do it kindly. He deserves for you to give him the truth, that way you will be free and clear. Knowing what you are thinking will lessen the blow. Hope I was helpful

Chanel · 61-69, F

@SW-User Thank you and I love the word 'cowboy'. I nicknamed my friends dog that name as it suited him. I adored that dog and he was possessive about me but I loved his alpha male behavior.

Anyway back to the problem how does a woman say "sorry but I don't fancy you and I don't look forward to seeing you anymore and to be honest lately I have been glad when you have left my flat".

I appreciate your input Cowboy. It seems like I will have to keep telling 'white lies' about why I am not free.

SW-User

@Chanel Thank you for the compliment, Chanel. I thought I would take a chance and answer this question but I understand what you mean. It is pretty hard to put something like that lightly

SW-User

you appreciated his direct honesty, you should give him the same. things have changed, you're not longer interested in him. so long, thanks for all the fish.

daydeeo · 61-69, M

There's no easy way. You just have to tell him the truth - you weren't looking for a relationship then and you're not interested in one now.

laotzu92 · 70-79, M

The most delicately worded statement of the truth is what you must tell him. You actually owe that to him.

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Chanel · 61-69, F

@Feuerwehrmann That would be a lie. BUT I have told white lies saying I am going to see my relation when I haven't been.

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Chanel · 61-69, F

@Feuerwehrmann Point taken.

goodguy007 · 41-45, M

Not sure if the situation has passed. Would like to know how it ended, if it did?

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MsMontgomery · 51-55, F

Tell him you are dating someone else now.

Goralski · 51-55, M

Aren't we classy

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