I Had An Eating Disorder

I am not sure if I will ever ‘fully’ recover. I still count calories, I still skip meals, I still cry over my body. But I’m maintaining a healthy weight, so I must be fine, right?

I know deep down I’m still ill. I want to be skinny. Living like this will never bring me the satisfaction that losing weight brought me. I was always so happy when I stepped on the scale and lost weight. It made me believe I was doing something right; that I was improving in some aspect of my life. It makes me so upset to know that I will never be able to live that again. I’ll always be stuck wanting what I can’t have.

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IWasCallingYaLarry · 26-30, M

I'm proud of you <3 . I think you're doing the right thing. I know because I have been dieting since April and lost a bit over 30 lbs since and I will not stop! If you are willing to do something about your weight and determined to not give up, then you are strong! Never give up!

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IWasCallingYaLarry · 26-30, M

@stillturningout what is? Watching your weight?

stillturningout · 22-25, F

@IWasCallingYaLarry yes, I used to be anorexic. I still skip meals and exercise excessively. I should be 20lbs heavier for my height

IWasCallingYaLarry · 26-30, M

@stillturningout Okay yeah I would agree on that. You shouldn't skip meals. I learned that if you skip meals and just work out or whatever, your body won't have any food to absord and break down. So yeah, please eat food. You can reward yourself by working out after. I do that too.

BearDownChicago · 41-45, M

It's tough. I know it. I skip I mentally count. Never actually had a disorder but it's a huge reason for my depression

You are doing great! Sounds like you're doing the right thing

ASouthernGentleman · 31-35, M

I greatly admire you. You are a survivor. Never. Surrender. Dreams. You are one heroic heart made weak by time and fate but strong in will to strive, to seek, to find, and not to yield. Hugs

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