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I Believe Growing Old Is Mandatory, Growing Up Is Optional

From Ashi Guruma to Kosoto Gari

As a youth my elder brother used to throw me around the living room, cushions on the floor which I never managed to hit, 10 years older than me he was a bully and had no right to practice judo.
I swore that one day I would get even, wishing I was big enough to return the pain. At 13 years old I eventually got a place in Kodokan with a master who would teach me, Phil Edwards (ex cavalry) a man at 5’5” such tanden and ability, disguised as a little man with a pot belly. Little did I know what I was about to learn, not great fighting moves, not the ability to throw anyone (though it stood me good stead on the rugger field) nor revenge for past grievenses. My first lessons, Ukemi, how to fall safely, as if I didn’t already know after my brothers treatment. I went three nights a week with such determination and pent up anger, It took Phil just a few lesons on “falling”, and I was set to go. In my mind I was a man on a mission, in Phils mind I was a clumsy over eager kid who needed to learn a lesson,. First throws Ashi Guruma and Hani Goshi, simple hip throws? A sudden wake up call, Phil showed me and showed me, I just could not shift him, get your arse in there lad, I still couldn’t move him. It was then that I learned “Tanden”, the art of planting myself, which took me a long long time to get, but even now at 60 yrs old, my stomach belies my ability to stand my ground. Patiently Phil taught me week on week he put up with my (determination came across as) posturing and pretentious attitude, showed me how to tuck in and assume postion, how to get my man moving the way I wanted. Harai goshi - Hiza garuma sweeping throws, so smooth when they go right, to Ippon seo nage and upper body work. Working my way through the belts, which meant a trip to Leeds to get my grades. I was getting there, I was able to carry myself with confidence of the judoka I wanted to be. The reactive throws kosoto gari and kosoto gaki, step round throws but effective. Kyu after Kyu took me closer, confidence now complete, I was ready………….Or so I thought, Phil had news for me, after two years of training, I was still a novice. It took two years of anger and determination to find that out, I had mastered something. I was at last a normal young man with no anger or hatred or even thoughts of getting back. I was at peace with myself, looking on in admiration at a 5’5” old guy, the same guy who also taught me the three fencing disciplines foil sabre and epe. The unassuming little man who taught me how to grow up.
Peaches · F
Being at peace with ones self is so important. 🍀
Uncfred · 61-69, M
@Peaches Well said honey, and years later I still have that peace. I consider myself a lucky guy.
Keepitsimple · 51-55, F
It’s amazing how martial arts changes a person’s mindset and they find this inner peace. I wish I could learn that self control and where to put my emotions to better use. Thank you for sharing!
Uncfred · 61-69, M
@Keepitsimple Thanks for reading dear lady. I loved Judo, fencing and rugby. I was quite good at all sport, the personal satisfaction of achievement keeps the mind rational.
Keepitsimple · 51-55, F
No wonder you’re such a calm person though looking at the activities you chose to be involved in.@Uncfred
Uncfred · 61-69, M
@Keepitsimple I feel I have achieved somethings, though not everything. Perhaps I am calm by nature, but even now I am still searching for the serenity that is there somewhere.

 
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