My SW life is adversely affecting my health. How do you compartmentalize?

I read the replies here and your original story with much interest. I could have bet before reading the story that you were in a sexless marriage. First of all, let me say I was in one too and I left it 4 years and a bit ago. I think I first joined EP long before its glory days while still in the marriage. The ex knew about my being on EP and had no interest in it. I think it is easy to lose yourself in the fantasy of people on-line. Don't get me wrong-there are many good people here as were on EP. You can get some really good advice here (mind you, EP had a much better forum on Sexless Marriages-it was the largest forum with the most unhappy participants). And it is easy to fall in love with someone who listens to you and may even be in the same situation as you.
You mention the stress you are having. It is natural to feel this way when you are so stressed in a sexless marriage. So you feel guilty about coming to SW and finding some happiness. You have a few options. One is leave here. Cold turkey. So again you are alone and unhappy and unheard. Nothing solved. You could limit your time here like AZ has suggested. Set a timer. Follow a strict schedule. This helps you a bit. Another choice? Get some help in your life. I skimmed your initial story so I don't know the time you have invested in a cold marriage. I want to tell you I spent 3 decades in one. Granted it wasn't always sexless, but mostly. I had one son. It is a long story and if you wish to discuss this with me just pm me. You have to make sure that you have tried to "fix" it. Tried everything. Then you have to decide if you want to exist like this til the day one of you dies. Can you do that? If you have a career, you have the means to support yourself. That is great. If you don't, it means more work. I am not going to say it will be easy, because it won't always be. But you can be happy and love life and be free and eventually, if and when you want, you can find someone who will love you like you deserve to be loved. No hiding anything. No feeling rejected, worthless, depressed, angry, alone, etc. All the myriad of emotions that one experiences in a sexless marriage. There are many excuses for staying. The most significant one is fear. Fear of being alone truly. Fear of financial problems. Fear of this and fear of that. I want you to know that no one I have ever talked to or helped leave a sexless marriage has ever said they wanted to return to it or regretted their choice. It is up to you how you live your life. So hear my words. I hope they help. My offer to listen and to advise is open to you, girl. You are never too old or too anything to have to settle. These are my words to you. I wish you a better life. It all starts with the thought that freedom exists. You decide how far to take it. I hope you RUN with it to a future, a happier one.

You just need to set up some limitations on your time here... I had to do that...

I found ep ( which was a site similar to this one, and where many of us started out) by accident as an unhappy person nearing the end of my marriage almost 5 years ago. Within the 'I am lonely', 'I crave intimacy' etc. groups I quickly found many like minded people willing to validate all the pain my circumstances were causing me. Rather than hit up the spouse to deal with what I was feeling (because I knew he wasn't listening anyway) I became friends and shared with people here. Without ever intending it to happen I soon fell in love with someone online. This evolved into a real life physical affair. Eventually that was discovered.

The marriage was already in death rattle, but naturally the affair hurt a lot of people and because it literally changed who I was, it played a role in the end, and I paid a price for it. I should have waited until the marriage ended to follow my heart, but it was already gone. Who thinks straight when falling in love?

This is a place to connect and gain support from others, but if you have an interest in staying married,escaping online is not a good idea. Ask yourself why you must be on an anonymous site to be yourself, and face the answer quickly. Escaping is okay for a while, but you know how it is. If you have to do it in hiding, you should probably not be doing it.
I recommend taking frequent breaks, yes that's right, at least a week or two. It's a hard habit to break, but it's positive to see what else comes along to fill your time in the real world. You can always come back.
This is not everyone's story, but you did ask for input.

It sounds like you need to get out, frankly. You're not cheating on your husband but you are distancing yourself by being here in secret.

SW is for some. It isn't for everyone. Don't take it too seriously and you probably won't have a problem. It is the internet after all. People are here today, gone tomorrow.

You will not truly be happy until you are free. Your spouse does not love you like you need to be loved. He is a heavy piece of wood who is dragging you down. When you get tired of it, you will either break free and live the life you were meant to OR you both will sink together. I will like to see your final answer. Good luck.

Dear GlamGirl:

You are so tense and stress out that you need a magnesium supplement. This will help relax you and take the tension away from your body.It will relieve your from jaw pain, headaches, etc. Magnesium Taurate is a good one from Cardiovascular Research. You can get it online. Start off with 2 caps in the morning and 2 caps at night and see what effects it has on you.

Joe

This site ain't conducive for an successful real life relationship ... It just ain't

Folks in here already gave you good advice and I wouldn't add much else.

What I would tell you though is that you'll get through this. This experience will help you see who you really are and the great strength you carry inside.

All the best to you.

I see this place, and others like it, as having a layer of separation from "real" life. That's a benefit of anonymity.
I think keeping them separate is sort of mandatory.
That said, I'll guess the stress is because you're keeping something from your husband. So you might want to consider if coming here and sharing your thoughts makes YOU a better person or not. If it does, then your husband will naturally see the benefits. If not, then he'll also be impacted. I'm not a big one for secrets in a relationship. But I do understand that life is a solo whether you're with someone or not. So maybe it's just a matter of you considering what you PERSONALLY get out of this place and take it from there.

Like you I love my SW life. My wife will never know and so I only am on SW when not at home or she is not around. Beyond that I feel no guilt as it is my outlet from this thing we call life.

This was written about a month ago .... how is it for you now ??

You're an addicted like the rest of us. Hard to put down once you get yourself start, isn't it?

Men are in general better than women in compartmentalizing than women.

Also, many people on here are single.

You just need to remember why you are here ,you connect with people

Thank you, everyone, for all of your feedback, advice and thoughtful responses. I am absorbing everything, marinating in it, and processing all of your words. For those who left me lengthy comments, or messaged me, I intend to reply back to you soon. ✨

I would just delete it.