To feel devastated?

I feel deeply upset.
Its my son's 9th birthday today and he is with his dad. He moved on from our long marriage just 3 months after and still with this woman nearly 2 years on.
He posted a photo of our child and his girlfriend wrote a message to her mum saying 'Thank you for his t shirt, he loves it!!'
It all felt so over familiar and breaks my heart. Anyone else think she is overstepping?

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UpForItNow · 22-25, F

My Dad said to me, on divorce 16yrs ago, 'you've got a hard row to hoe, Son. I feel sorry for you'. He was right. My daughter is now on the cusp of adulthood. I could write a book.

Mandalorian

Frankly..its something that you have to come to terms with yourself...posting here about it wont help in the long run..

REMsleep · 41-45, F

@Mandalorian It might help her just to release or think through things. That's how we woman are.

SW-User

😕😕

REMsleep · 41-45, F

No, without further details I haven't heard anything which was overstepping. She lives with them? She is basically a step mom. However much or how soon that she was integrated into your son's life was up to you and the father.
But, while she IS in his life then she should try to love him too.
Do you get alone time with your son? Do you still get to make the major parenting decisions along with the father?

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greenmountaingal · 70-79, F

@Jenni855 She is at a disadvantage; YOU are, and always will be, his actual mom. And it is a good thing if she has a good relationship with your son. It would be much more difficult if she didn't. FB is the place people go when they want to brag about good things in their lives; be glad she is proud of how she is getting along with your son.

Jenni855 · 36-40, F

@greenmountaingal I just don't like how she acts like his mother. I feel she could hsve kept the chat between her and her own mother away from Facebook. It came across as very over familiar.
My ex treats her like the new mother as well.

REMsleep · 41-45, F

@Jenni855 Ahh I understand. Don't worry. Be yourself. Don't let anyone see you sweat or steal your joy. You are his mother, no one else. No need to prove it.
Save the talks and admonishments to the dad about the important stuff. Be pleasant when you see them. Men are dumb. Give them sex and food and everything else falls into place. She is providing the sex right now so he's not going to hear your complaints really well.
Just try your best to be pleasant with them all for the sake of your son and ex will then actually listen better when you have something bigger to discuss. Its never going to be easy but it will all work out in the end. She might just be trying to be nice you can't be sure.

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