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Have your Parents/Grand Parents ended up in a Nursing home?

I am watching this movie and one scene brought back memories of my Grandmother.
My parents divorced when I was 7 and us children stayed with Dad.Mum got remarried immediately.
My Mother Mother came to raise us kids. For 20 years she done everything required to raise 5 rowdy children.
When all is said and done, 15 years of her last 20 years were virtually as a maid running a household.
There came a time when at 75 years of age? she was too much for my Father to look after and a danger to herself being often at home by herself. Her mind had started to "Wander"
The final event was when she attempted to throw some rubbish into the creek running past our place. In throwing the rubbish, she ended up in the creek and was unable to get herself out.
Apparently she was laying in the slow running creek for at least 5 hours before a passer by heard her plaintive cries for help.
Unscathed really, she spent a couple of nights in Hospital and was back home.
Dad in the mean time had rung his ex wife and told her what had happened and said to her.
"I can not look after her anymore and because she is your Mother I think she should go live with you."
Mum agreed and within 2 weeks my Grandmother had moved to Hobart, 260 km's away where she was almost immediately placed in a nursing home.
I went to visit several months later and my first view of her was my beautiful Grandmother tied to a chair.
I asked the staff why was that necessary? There response was, "She likes to wander"
The Nursing home was fully fenced with a locked gate and a beautiful Flower Garden.
My Grandmother loved gardening. So before they come up with the tie down regime, Nan would go out into the garden which the staff did not like residents to do.
My Grandmother died about 6 months after my visit.
So her last 20 years were not how she would have expected or wanted them to be .
So sad how many Western Families treat their elderly. Almost as if they are a burden, getting in the way.
Picklebobble2 · 56-60, M
The western world has had the wrong ethic since the 80's in my view.
As @eqfish rightly points out, governments insist we think about work before anything else !

This to the exclusion of our parents and more importantly, our children !
The price for that one remains to be seen ! But you can bet it won't be good !
HannibalAteMeOut · 22-25, F
I hope they won't have to, thankfully I live very close with my grandparents so in time of need I could take care of them, while my parents live in another city so it wouldn't be easy for them. Unless I live far away for any reason, I wouldn't resort to put them in some nursing home. It is a selfish thing to do just because you don't want to take care of someone (who took care of you when you needed). Elderly have just the same feelings and worries with the rest of us and we shouldn't exclude them when they don't have anything more to "offer".
SW-User
@HannibalAteMeOut Different Q - this will happen to you sometime. What are your thoughts on children? Children suddenly take care of you when you are in need
HannibalAteMeOut · 22-25, F
@SW-User I'm not of the opinion that you have children just to have someone to take care of you when you get older. That's what my grandparents think. If I ever do have children I won't raise them with the feeling of such obligation. At the same time, though, I feel that if someone raises you the right way and has always been there for you, it is your duty to protect them. It's just inevitable feeling this kind of obligation, if you are a grateful person in general. The thing is, you can't push someone to take care of you, but based on your previous actions they will feel the need to do it themselves.
SW-User
@HannibalAteMeOut Slightly problematic. There really is no way to ensure someone will care for you after. I have known very loving people who have no one for them. What happens when they pass?
SW-User
Sorry for your loss.

This can be said about Western culture, while my grandmother died at 93 needing care, our life often leaves us with litle time. Some do prescribe their elderly to care, a family could give. But the culture also asks always to be work driven, selfish, and many arent just factual elements of life playing in
Gusman · 61-69, M
@SW-User Can you rephrase the question?
SW-User
@Gusman Okay, you had the chance in care and in love to receive such care, you. She touched you, in her history to you. It is hard to watch someone decline
Gusman · 61-69, M
@SW-User Sure. I loved my Grandmother. It was Heart Breaking watching her decline. Nan was the only family member that I cried for at funerals.

 
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