Struggles & Identity

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Random situation:

So I've been i a relationship for a year. Quite solid. A successful guy. Confident, charming, attractive intelligent...

My entire life evolved in the different direction. We live together. He has sole custody of a beautiful 5 year old girl.

Ive become a home maker. Worker in a surf shop for 7 years.. Did my own thing.

My feelings for him changed that.

Two months ago he began inquiring about my feeling on breast augmentation. Had never thought of it. But began to realize it was something he wanted. No pressure. Said it was no big deal...

Then I did it. B...to.. D.

A weird adjustment.

Im happy.

Life is good.

As of late he's begun talking about a butt procedure.

And...

I'm sorta weirded out about it.

Thoughts?

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HappyBella · 41-45, F

I think he is trying to turn you into what he sees as the “ ideal woman”. Surgically changing yourself to please him is not good.

Indy74 · 46-50, F

Leave his ass behind!! Never get surgery to please a partner!! A lot of times it's hard to reverse if you don't want it anymore.

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Indy74 · 46-50, F

@Stereoguy exactly!!! You need to tread lightly with surgeries of that nature.

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nedkelly · 61-69, M

Simple - tell him to fuck off and find someone decent

LyricalOne · F

@nedkelly Amen sista! Guy wants a Barbie doll, not a real woman.

indyjoe · 56-60, M

I personally think you should rethink your relationship with this "wonderful" guy...he may tell you that it is no big deal if you choose not to do this but here are the facts...if it truly was not a big deal to him he would not have "suggested" it to you in the first place. Someone who really loves you also accepts you just the way you are and appreciates what nature has given you.

SweetMae · 70-79, F

That is a red flag to me.

Smokey · 46-50, M

Seems to me he is building what he wants, I don't agree with it, maybe he should just love you as you are and not his wishful image of you. Just my thoughts

SW-User

He is greedy and selfish. Those procedures are not without health risks. He puts his lust before your wellbeing

LyricalOne · F

🏃‍♀️

DarkHeaven ·

I’ve missed you a lot. Love you, sweetheart. Please don’t change who you are because who you are is wonderful. Light & love. 🖤🤗

Keepitsimple · 51-55, F

I’m thinking he’s molding you into his dream woman and you’re all about being pleasing him. What are you getting out of this?

SW-User

Uh....
My only thoughts Pambi is what was wrong with you before?

BalmyNites · F

Run for the hills!

luckranger71 · 51-55, M

Sorry to hear this. Those are quite the red flags. I hope he backs off from this pressure. This might not be fair to say just from this story, but doesn’t seem to value who you are inside as much as he should.

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indyjoe · 56-60, M

@Waymore Exactly...no living person is perfect, we all have physical flaws and imperfections, that is just nature. There is nothing wrong with wanting a surgical alteration to correct something that is majorly flawed and or to feel a bit more "normal", but the absolute necessity of it should be taken into consideration. People in or getting into relationships naturally want someone they find attractive, but people need to leave the quest for human perfection and "beauty" behind and start seeing as well as appreciating the "perfection" in imperfection...start accepting and loving someone just as they are.

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Keepitsimple · 51-55, F

What if your ass looks like Madonna’s?[image deleted]

SW-User

This is a red flag. You don't have to change your body just because he wants you to. And the breast procedure is really a simple/harmless one, the others not so much... Like at all. Leave your body the way it is, if he can't deal with that then leave.

That's messed up.

indyjoe · 56-60, M

@SW-User The breast procedure is not always simple nor is it always harmless. It is still a major surgery and things can (and often do) go wrong. Being the most common of body modification procedures doesn't necessarily make it easy. That's why doing it for plain vanity or to please someone else isn't the brightest of ideas.

Qwerty14

Sounds like he has full control over you. He's removed your independence, made you alter your appearance and I'm guessing you don't see your friends as much too right? Sounds like an unhealthy relationship. But hey, what do I know. I'm single

chuck7882 · 61-69, M

My thoughts are there was nothing wrong with the way you were. It's not nice of him to want to determine what you look like. Sounds like he wants to completely control you, to disturbing lengths

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SW-User

Just reminds me of Melanie Martinez song, Mr Potato head. Lol

Picklebobble2 · 56-60, M

Is he making physical changes for you ?

TryingtoLava

Hiiiii lovely :) see ya again one day!

LittleBlueAngelBoy · M

This is shocking.

ABCDEF7 · M

If anything I would prefer to change in my partner is about being more healthier person, that too in a natural way. I want them to be happy and healthy.

DIMaverick4 · 41-45, M

Stop before it's too late .. you are beautiful as you are.. but what are your thoughts? Do you want to also do that? Are you unhappy to such an extent with your looks?

RandomForest ·

Breast augmentation is a solved art it's pretty low risk. The rest of it is not. Do squats if you must but I suggest against.

CrustyDDingus · 36-40, M

If he wants to get a bigger butt I guess that’s his wish 🤔 you on the other hand don’t really need it.

SaulGoodman · 26-30, M

Well you know him well enough to be in his comfort zone

MrBrownstone · 46-50, M

Not gonna lie. I do like D’s

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TJNewton · M

How the hell did someone as nice as you end up with someone like him ? get out of that relationship before it goes too far

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