Struggles & Identity

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Is it new friends or something else on his end?

So im 17 a girl, and on my Instagram there's a guy that is 23 that has been messaging me. we live in different countries. I dont mind it because i like talking to him and meeting new people. We have been messaging back and forth for a month or so now. and we are getting to know each other a lot every day. I like him as a friend. but im not sure if he feels the same. He always asks for pictures of me (not nudes) and always tells me how beautiful I am. And he tells me all the time he wants to meet me. so im guessing im asking what do you think he is feeling. Like just friends or something more than that. I can't figure it out bc the guys where i live are very straight forward and if they act like this then they usually like you.

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inflatablebimbo · 31-35, F

Not just friends, I am a pro at this here is what is going to happen:
1. He’ll work up more and more what he wants from the pics. He might start asking for a specific kink like feet or you in your favorite bra stuff like.
2. Eventually nudes (maybe not if he doesn’t care about nudity) but suggestive otherwise or specific like “take a picture for me of your tongue out and your eyes crossed”, stuff like that.
3. He will start requesting that you use your money to come visit him.
4. I have met up with people near me (no thanks on spending my money to fly to another country for what I am about to describe) It has always been the most awkward human interaction ever, it’s like Incels-R-Us and they totally break down without the internet. They are somehow both rude and dicks and the biggest pussies i’ve ever met at the same time. If you do this one meet somewhere public.

All awhile you’ll get nothing in return unless you like any of the above! I like some of number 1 (before the weird requests start) myself so I go that far with guys who seem fun but once they start pushing for 2 and 3 I stop responding.

I’m btw like 99% sure on this sorry to say. Just lots of experience on the topic! Pick which number is fun for you and go for it! When I have gotten to step 4 I have left and gotten into my car and driven home within 30 minutes, usually laughing. In another country other than your own you won’t be able to do that. Good luck!

MellyMel22 · F

[i][c=#BF0080]Please please be careful, he can be older than he tells you and setting you up for trouble.. [/c][/i]

kyky16 · 22-25, F

Also let me add that I look older than my age. Most people both boys and girls think im 19. So i dont think he was purposely preying on a minor. He did ask me how old i was and when he found out he was shocked and told me he thought i was older. At first our conversations were really basic but we found common interests. I also don't think he would push me to do anything i don't feel like doing. Being that ive told him no i wasnt sending a pic and he was completely fine with that. He's more religious than most so the whole nudes and all that wont be asked from him bc he follows his religion and take it to the heart.

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kyky16 · 22-25, F

@inflatablebimbo i disagree with that. Just because you take a religion to heart doesn't mean you want to own people. We have detailed conversations about my own dreams. as well as his dreams and what he wants to pursue in life. I cant stay in one place in life. I get bored of the same place pretty fast. Ive opened up about that and we laugh about it and just have careless conversations about everything. Even when annoying little boys (my age) try to get in my pants and stuff. He is there and listens to what i have to say. And trys his best to give advice. I know I probably sound like i am defending him but I really don't know if he likes me as just a friend or not. I don't have a problem is he likes me more than a friend because i have liked guys that are older than me. Did it go anywhere? No bc i have morals and go with what i believe.

SW-User

@kyky16 if hes willing to wait and doesn't act pervy, then it's fine. However, be cautious. If he asks for more suggestive stuff, it's time to draw the line.

Tell him to just act Platonic. If not, cut him off.

inflatablebimbo · 31-35, F

@kyky16 okay fair enough, just my experience with religious people.
Listen to @SW-User. Ultimately this guy is going to ask you to use your own money to fly to him and I guess that’s when you really have a choice to make!

SW-User

Asking for pictures is a bad sign. Probably some old German guy building a collection, and the second you stop sending he'll disown you.

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kyky16 · 22-25, F

@SW-User and he doesn't seem like a creep. He's really nice. and sends me picks of what he does all the time. So its not like im only sending him pictures.

inflatablebimbo · 31-35, F

@kyky16- @SW-User is right. And it doesn’t matter where he is from...are there girls where he is from? There are girls where everyone is from. But he wants to interact in this way with you instead of (or maybe in addition to) with
them. Why would that make sense?

kyky16 · 22-25, F

@inflatablebimbo well i was just saying where he was from so if someone had anything against germans they couldnt take it there lol😂. but i understand what you mean.

SW-User

i think he’s a creep who can’t get a girl his own age so he’s preying on a minor.

kyky16 · 22-25, F

@SW-User he just got out of a really bad relationship. i dont think he is preying on me. He told me he thought i was older than what i looked and i believe he was going to leave me a lone. but i laughed and told him it was fine because everyone thinks im older. then we just started having conversation

SW-User

@kyky16 literally every guy who preys on younger girls tells them they look and/or act older then they are. he has no business getting involved you when he's an adult and you're a minor, the fact that he is just shows that he at best shows incredibly poor judgement and at worst, is out to hurt you. the fact that he's already showering you with compliments and asking for pictures is another red flag.

im speaking from experience here. you shouldn't be talking to this guy. im sure there's plenty of genuine guys that are your age you can talk to who will think you're nice and pretty and smart

SW-User

He probably has feelings for you, but can't act out on them due to your being a minor.

I've done it myself, and I always say 1) no nudes and 2) we can't be more than friends due to age.

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kyky16 · 22-25, F

@SW-User oh how? i dont even know how you block someone

kyky16 · 22-25, F

@SW-User when i click on you profile it says im not allowed to view your profile

SW-User

@kyky16 don't worry! You werent on my list! It's all good tho

Hasmita · M

I would take a lot more time to get to know him even more so.

Hasmita · M

@Hasmita I mean a month is not long enough to make a decision.

kyky16 · 22-25, F

@Hasmita well yea. I dont want a relationship with anyone right now. Im focused on myself and my dreams. I don't want a relationship to interrupt that.

Hasmita · M

@kyky16 Very wise. You dictate what you want from any situation.

Good luck. Take care.

SW-User

He's tryin' to get in ya pants I think.

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