Struggles & Identity

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I think that men should help with housework

Especially when his wife/girlfriend also is working. But most of the time I hear women complaining that nobody helps them and they have to do everything by themselves. Why? Why men won't help until women tell them to do so?

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SW-User

It's a long held tradition! ;) Some men do their fair share though, or more. For those that don't, they need to be educated to do so by the women involved with them. And these women also need to stop doing everything

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NankerPhelge · 61-69, M

@SW-User And how was that "educational agenda" meant to be compatible with my brain?

SW-User

@NankerPhelge It wasn't is the simple answer

NankerPhelge · 61-69, M

@SW-User If it wasn't meant to be compatible with my brain, how in the world did they expect me to accept it? Whatever else I may be, I am not adaptable to concepts that don't fit in with my own. That is one thing they should never expect from me.

Teggy

I do all the cleaning up in my house

Ramon67 · 61-69, M

Household chores should be equally shared at all times .

Loretta78 · 46-50, F

Because most of men are lazy as hell.

Even when I have asked my former husband or my son to help me - they never did. Because housework is "women work." So I did my fulltime job, the education of my son and the housework COMPLETELY alone.
Women work - haha!! 😒

Skeleton · 26-30, F

@Loretta78 there's similar situation at my house, and i'm getting sick of it

Loretta78 · 46-50, F

@Skeleton I can understand you fully. Most of men really seem to think this:
Woman = slave 😠

Skeleton · 26-30, F

Exactly! I refuse to be treated like a freaking maid

Quizzical · 46-50, M

This 'tradition' goes back to a time when primarily the man supported the family financially by going out to work and usually doing hard manual labour all day. The woman would stay at home, cook, clean, and raise children.

Now we live in an economic situation where a household cannot be supported by just one person working, but those old ideas that housework is a woman's job still persist. Eventually they will fade though.

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NankerPhelge · 61-69, M

@Quizzical "A child needs to be fed and protected, woman have the means to feed the baby.... "

I classify those as primary rather than secondary "sexual characteristics", and roles should be based on who is best equipped for it psychologically, not biologically.

Quizzical · 46-50, M

@NankerPhelge Primary sexual characteristic would be the vagina... Breasts are a secondary sexual characteristic... Or not sexual at all if you believe the 'free the nipple' hype... lol

I am not stating what should be, I am stating what was. Things are totally different now. We have the means to store baby food etc so that either parent can do the feeding. Those old 'roles' have fallen by the wayside, it's just that society is taking time to catch up.

NankerPhelge · 61-69, M

@Quizzical Well, how did I manage to "catch up" more than 40 years ago if the rest of society still hasn't? And why am I still often put down for having been so enlightened at an early age?

Gingerbreadspice · F

Some men do the cooking or do the gardening and the odd jobs around the house instead. That's the men in my family, when they lived for a couple or many years on their own they're more domesticated I think. Still I know of men that are lazy.

melbeacher · 56-60, M

It should be a team effort.

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Cowboybob · M

@Loretta78 I do ALL the housework. I live alone.

melbeacher · 56-60, M

@Loretta78 The more I help out the more likely my wife will want to have sex with me.....now get out of my way I have to vacume !

NankerPhelge · 61-69, M

@melbeacher No such word as "vacume".

SweetMae · 70-79, F

Their mothers did not make them help. I taught my sons to help knowing their wives would work too once they were married.

NankerPhelge · 61-69, M

I agree. Why shouldn't we?

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bijouxbroussard · F

I grew up seeing my father helping with housework and knew no other way. I married a man who, as the eldest child, knew how to cook in order to help feed his siblings while his single mother worked two jobs. I was fortunate in that regard, because he was always willing to do his share.

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Loretta78 · 46-50, F

@NankerPhelge
1. My father was Pascha (my mother even had to crawl on floor and to wish the urine away when he peed on floor)
2. My former husband was Pascha (I had to earn money alone for him, our baby and me, had to take care for our baby completely alone and had to do the all housework completely alone and to serve my husband even his food to his bed)
3. My son (it's almost the same with him as with his father) 😭

You see, I am nothing but a very cheap slave. And many other women are at least in a similar situation so as me.

CopperCicada · M

@Loretta78 that really breaks my heart.

Loretta78 · 46-50, F

@CopperCicada I am sorry. I didn't want to do that. But it's the truth. 😭

MURD3RM0NK3Y · 26-30, M

Because men think they're too manly to be doing stuff like sweeping, cleaning, and washing dishes.

NankerPhelge · 61-69, M

@MURD3RM0NK3Y How does having a penis prevent one from doing stuff like sweeping, cleaning, and washing dishes? 🤔

MURD3RM0NK3Y · 26-30, M

@NankerPhelge Like I said guys think they're too manly for that kind of thing. I'm not saying all of them but a lot of the ones I've been around act like that. They think that women should be the ones cleaning. I don't have a problem doing housework.

NankerPhelge · 61-69, M

@MURD3RM0NK3Y What's always puzzled me is how that tradition came about in the first place. How does having a penis prevent one from helping with housework? I don't see the logic in that at all.

SW-User

@Quizzical Maybe check historical records, and what happened during the second war and after in terms of the role of women. You are are trying to rationalize and justify based on a wholly inaccurate argument.

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SW-User

Prior to industrialisation there was no a division of labour based on biology!! There are political reasons why women ended up as cooks and cleaners, why housework became viewed as women's work. As said, you need a very big history lesson.

Quizzical · 46-50, M

@SW-User Of course there was... There has been since the dawn of time... Women were gatherers, men were hunters! lol

The bigger, stronger, faster men went out to fight sabretooths etc, and the milk producing women stayed near the cave and looked after the kids...

Hence as a side effect, men developed extreme focus, and woman developed multitasking skills.

So, what are the political reasons for women being lumped with housework in your opinion?

SW-User

@Quizzical You've kind of idealized how it was with Hunter gathers and interpreted according to the division a of Labour now, imposed 20/21st century stuff on the past. There were not such division at all. A possible reason for the division of Labour after industrialisation is connected to the marketplace, jobs available. Again compare the role of women during the war, and after

jackson55 · M

I do all the housework because there's no one else to do it.

MartinTheFirst · 22-25, M

Probably because of reasons

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MartinTheFirst · 22-25, M

@SW-User 😏 hope is good

SW-User

@MartinTheFirst Action even better ;)

Skeleton · 26-30, F

@MartinTheFirst I don't understand that. If there's a couple that loves each other, wouldn't they want to help each other?

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Skeleton · 26-30, F

@daaaan2000 it's your house too and you also should be responsible for it, not just a woman

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