How can I get abducted by aliens?

Become a Cylon and engage in battles with other civilisations.

Visit Silent Hill, but there's a dog in control so.

Go to Walmart.

Well according to the general and highly confusing info gleaned from people who seem to be telling the truth as they remember it; you need to make a contract with them before you are born.

move to a redneck trailer park. they always seem to turn up in places like that, funnily enough.

😈Don't look in the closet!

?ksa uoy od yhw? 👽

Ring 911