I Can't Sleep

It seems that I am too sad to sleep, despite being very tired. Using the word "sad" to describe myself sounds really.. sad honestly lol but what I feel is actual sadness and it's rippling through me in large waves.

Right now, I would really love to bawl my eyes out. Just have a good cry by myself and let it all out. But I just don't have the energy to, and even if I did, how long can you keep crying about feeling sad? Sounds like a dead end to me.

You're probably wondering why I'm even sad in the first place. I wish I knew. Haven't quite figured it out yet. I can feel myself feeling sorry for myself, and I hate doing that.

I dunno guys. I just want a hug and some comfort, but I also don't want to burden anyone with my issues. Everyone has enough on their plate and I know I can be overwhelming at times. I complain so much sometimes, I wonder how people don't get sick of me. The last thing I would want to do is drive my friends away from me. I am slowly coming to terms with the fact that it would be better for me to detach from everyone as to not set myself up for more pain in the long run.

And it's sad cause I can feel myself becoming resentful at the people around me who usually push me around. I've just had enough of everything. I don't care anymore but my anxiety still gets the better of me.

I guess I don't really know what to do about this. I don't know how to improve my mood or go to sleep. And it's pretty painful to get through as it is. I don't really know what to hope for anymore.

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Tatsumi · 31-35, M

And I mean, you self-identify as feelinShitty. That probably doesn't help.

I actually got a slow-wide-eyed look when I read this:

[quote] I am slowly coming to terms with the fact that it would be better for me to detach from everyone as to not set myself up for more pain in the long run. [/quote]

I swear to God I will find you and slap some sense into you if you do that. If you have people that will deal with your sorry-ass despite your (clear) faults, you would be not just a fool to ditch them, but a sad and even more lonely fool. Take it from someone who went through that train of thought before and acted on it. It does not lead anywhere good, for you, or for them.

That's your inner pussy self talking, not you. If you could name that something, what would you name it?

[quote]I don't know how to improve my mood or go to sleep. [/quote]

This is exactly what therapy is for. If you are lacking the coping skills to deal with your inner self, then they can provide them for you. And you know, they get paid to listen to you bitch. I'm doing this for free. I demand recompense in the form of at least one cat meme.

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WittyKittyfeelinShitty · F

@Tatsumi they didn't give me much. It was a bit too structured for me but I'll probably look into something else at some point.

It's really interesting how you're talking about naming these aspects of myself. It seems weird to think about it in that way though. It's almost as if you would be fighting with yourself indirectly

Tatsumi · 31-35, M

@WittyKittyfeelinShitty I hope you do. ^_^

I heard it from Tony Robbins, heh. He's got quite a few really great tactics for fighting these kinds of inner demons, imo. And yeah, a bit. Do you want to avoid fighting your inner demons?

It's also relevant in psychology. Like speaking directly to your future self as if they are a different person who is relying on you. Kinda strange, because people think people are mostly selfish, but we often treat ourselves like trash compared to other people. So, viewing your future self like a separate person can be very helpful in doing things for her.

I'm often like "Okay future Tatsumi. I gotcher back. Past Tatsumi fucked us over, but I'm not going to let you down." I've found for me it helps a lot. ^_^

WittyKittyfeelinShitty · F

@Tatsumi that is so sweet!; You have future Tatsumi's back. That's a really nice way of looking at it. I completely agree with you, people often treat themselves really badly in their own head. I know that's something I need to work on too, I can be so hard on myself sometimes. But that's a really sweet way to tackle that sort of thinking. Thanks for that!

Fighting your inner demons sounds so scary. I just want them to be quiet for a little while, I think that would be nice. Probably not mentally equipped to fully go to war with them yet lol!

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