I Have Family Members That Get On My Nerves

The guy I'm seeing wants to meet my parents. I've just recently started seeing him, he's getting along with my son, I Really like him and everything's going so well. ... I don't want to ruin it. I told him I'd rather he get to know me for himself before SHE tells him about me... every bad decision I've made, and her opinion. ..
I really hope he didn't think it was him.

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greenmountaingal · 70-79, F

You are at an age when the only reason to introduce someone you know to your parents is if you intend to marry this person. Otherwise, there is no reason. And, if you feel that having him meet your mother would reflect poorly on you, there is a good reason not to do so. Tell him about all the ridiculous things your mother doesn't like and then say, "If she didn't like you, you'd be in very good company." And tell him you two are not teenagers and are not required to bring your parents into your dating life.

Mamapolo2016 · F

@greenmountaingal Great answer!

SweetKiester · 46-50, F

Not required. .. but,
1.. he brought it up.
2. Regardless of her disrespectful attitude, I was raised to be respectful
3. Trying to teach my son respect as well.
4... at our age, we don't date unless we have future plans. We've been crushing for a few years. .. he finally got the nerve to ask me out.
And it's not him reflecting poorly on me,
I do that all by myself. .. ;)

greenmountaingal · 70-79, F

@SweetKiester I meant if your mother doesn't make you look good, that is enough reason not to bring him to meet her. It is not, from my point of view (and probably most people in my culture), your duty to present him to her unless you are becoming engaged to be married. There is nothing disrespectful about conducting your dating life as an independent adult.

It does occur to me that him wanting to meet your mother/family may be his way of hinting he would like you to consider marriage...maybe you are conflicted about considering this...? Or maybe happy but nervous about the potential meeting of two people you love...? You seem to feel you need to do this.

ChampagneOnIce · 51-55, F

You could explain that to him - about how your mom treats you. Then wait a few years before introducing them. 😄

SweetKiester · 46-50, F

I did... but I worry that he thinks it's more that I don't think she would like him... instead of her taking things out on me.
I think eventually, he will just tell her where to go with her opinions. .. but he needs to really know me first.

ChampagneOnIce · 51-55, F

@SweetKiester I agree. Hopefully, he’ll believe you when you tell him it’s not about her not liking him. It’s about her judgmental attitude toward you. My mom is similarly judgmental, and my husband and I both tell her where she can stick her judgments. So I understand. I hope he’s a good guy - you deserve a good one! 🤗