Would you have coffee with an ex-worker?

A month ago I resigned from a position on good terms. A woman I worked with (sort of gossipy) texted to ask how I was and if I want to get together soon. For the most part, I know the conversation will be about the old work place, which she'll likely go back and tell people anything I said with her spin. She'll also want the deets on where I am now. I never felt we'd be friends, just associates. Guess I answered my own question, right?

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toddr13 · 46-50, M

You did answer your own question. If it were someone looong to continue to network with an industry colleague, that’s completely different. Plus, if she’s a gossip, others will know that and you should not be seen associating with her, especially as you did not do so at your previous company.

I once happened upon one of my current employees meeting with several former employees, two of whom had tried to stage a coup and organize their own collective bargaining committee for part-time workers. When I said that the jobs they had were spelled out at the time of hiring, and met our business model, and that I was not changing it to suit them, they walked out. It was awkward to see their loud and foul mouthed leader, but for the current employees, since she was joined by a duplicitous guy who lied to get out of a meeting with me to meet them, cast them in a different light.

So, I would be cordial and say that you’ll have to look at your schedule when you are settled at the new company, but don’t mention where or what you’re doing. Keep her at arm’s length, but don’t poison the well, since you may return to that company or know people in common if the industry is small.

zeeva70 · F

@toddr13 Wow! I bet that was awkward for you to come upon that meeting!

I recognize sometimes coworkers become friends but she's not the type of person I'd want to spend time with outside of work. She would spend too much time comparing herself to me and I remember her being sore when I explained that we couldn't become FB friends (resverved for people I met and had in depth conversations with). And although I wish everyone well at the old place, I don't want to hear about them in a gossipy way (then she'll go back and say "zeeva blah, blah, blah).

But you know what would be awkward but I don't care? There's a couple of other authentic people from there who, if they contacted me, I would meet them.

I probably won't respond to her text, which I haven't done on a few occaisions when we worked together so it wouldn't be out of character for me.

BondGirl84 · 36-40, F

Yea I have done... I left a job in April after being there for 4.5 years & on occasion meet up with some of the guys, our next meet up is in Jan.... but sounds like u don't wanna go as u said she is a gossip so... Yup u answered ur own question!