Do nice predictable partners bore you? [I Believe In Soulmates]

I keep seeing how everyone wants a nice guy or a nice girl....someone who will be there for them and is dependable and loyal....

But they're really attracted to bad boys/girls who will dump them in a heartbeat. They want everything and no partner has everything. 🤷‍♀️

Our deepest pyschological needs (in the model I like) are Significance and Security. (They cover a LOT of different aspects of life beyond partner.) Obviously they are both also drivers towards the partner we want. From a partner, deep down we want to be loved for who we are (significant) and someone who won't betray or abandon us (security). They will always love us, etc.

The problem is, as we drift through life we collect images and symbols of what will meet these needs. I know a lot of women attracted to the bad boy image, for example, because they seem somehow more significant and interesting. But then many also have a propensity to treat them like dirt in the long run...

Sometimes what we are attracted to, we cannot love in the long run. In the end it's a person's character we love or despise. I don't think that means you have to find someone boring or predictable. You need someone with character: emotionally mature, treats those around them well, propensity to be honest and never betray someone they love...

No, I have no issue with predictable or boring. Prefer it to being eccentric and impulsive

Yeah unless you have at least 4 bodies in your walls i ain't interested

beware of "nice guys" they are anything but nice.

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=Nice%20Guy

Is this the nice guy u r speaking of?

No it depends on how I feel about the person. I prefer someone who is emotionally stable and calm anyway to balance me out . Then its the things you do together.

They used to....its why I was attracted to the crazy/hot messes but now I am old...I prefer the calmness

maybe they are aswell without knowing

always.

Whatever their shortcomings, they're a zillion times better than toxic aggravating drama queens.

As you said, of your own making.... That which can be made can be unmade....

Can you surprise him? It least then you can enjoy his reaction.

Yup. I like some feisty passion not a pushover

Ask my wife

Yes

Yes.

There just has to be some sort of connection, being nice alone won't suffice

I do think people often make ultimately reckless decisions when they see an 'adventurous' partner

I guess ill find out lol
But im tired of unempathetic jerks.

Predictable, no! Boring yes

Yes. For some reason, I am often drawn to women who are either damaged or even more toxic than I am.