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What are some sure ways to boost my self-confidence?

Here's the thing, whenever someone projects negativity about say me or my work I recoil and begin to have self-doubt whereas I should fight to defend my corner...or shouldn't I? What are your thoughts?
english · 56-60, M Best Comment
it is easy for us to sit and tell you to defend yourself,there is reason you dont, maybe you just dislike conflict ,maybe you just take the higher ground, without knowing more about you its hard to make an intelligent guess. maybe you were badly by someone in authority when you were younger,the possibilities are endless. i will say this you should always pick your fights , good luck hun🙃🌈
Portia · 41-45
@english I definitely avoid conflict. That I know. Doing a lot of self-reflection lately trying to figure out myself! Thank you 😊
english · 56-60, M
@Portia its funny it does nt matter what age we are ,we are all trying to figure something out about ourselves . 🙂 enjoy your Sunday throw on some Leonard🙃
Portia · 41-45
@english Of course 😉

You don't always have to fight to defend your corner, you can always go the route of just not giving a damn what they think. Not always easy, I'm well aware. Sometimes it is good to listen to their nonsense and then question yourself, figure out why they are right/ wrong... and eventually you can stand up for yourself with reason. And that makes all the difference. being able to look at them and let them know why they are wrong and having solid cause to stand your ground is a really nice feeling. stating facts as apposed to arguing or just telling them they are wrong with no basis for your argument, usually doesn't do anything more than get them to hurl more insults.
Portia · 41-45
@TwiddlerofThumbs wow this makes so much sense I think I'm programmed to think like that too 😲
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Portia · 41-45
@TwiddlerofThumbs 😳I see what you mean!
SW-User
Focus on the positive. The more often you repeat a thought, the stronger it gets. Using multiple senses makes a thought stronger too. Write down the positive thoughts, read them, say them out loud. And repeat, repeat, repeat. If you do that with the positives ones and pay as little attention as possible to the negatives ones, the positive thoughts will put the negative ones in their shadow.
SW-User
@Portia You're welcome! Hopefully it is helpful.
Portia · 41-45
@SW-User it is! 🙂
SW-User
@Portia That's very good to hear.
in10RjFox · M
You shouldn't.. it only means you need improve on your planning and organising skills.. there are many good workers, but they just do not how to take up work, plan , commit to a time frame , execute and deliver.. They invariably take up more than what they can chew, always have a backlog and goof up on delivery.

So once you have a systematic workflow, then none can point a finger..
Portia · 41-45
@in10RjFox I think you've got the context different. I am not talking about working for someone...which I don't. I am more or less talking about my own work
in10RjFox · M
@Portia oh ok.. yup..I thought like work place.. in which case just use it as a feedback to improve ..
CheshireCatalyst · 36-40, M
If anyone could answer this concretely there wouldn't be such a market for self-help books.

The only things that can improve self-confidence is a long long time in a consistent supportive environment.
Portia · 41-45
@CheshireCatalyst I guess 🙄
CheshireCatalyst · 36-40, M
@Portia ok fine, look in the mirror every morning and do an impression of a fierce tigress 😋
Portia · 41-45
It would seem you're self-confident enough. Or is that just when it comes to knowing the [i]ideas[/i] of what it means to be self-confident, not actually implementing it?
@Portia What I'm saying is, it's easy for people to believe they're self-confident when the waters are calm. But when there's a storm, when there's a confrontation, they might find they're not as self-confident as they thought they were.
Portia · 41-45
Indeed @PhoenixPhail but some people have the courage to weather any storm.
@Portia That's true, and even BUILD self-confidence in the weathering.
TheBatQueen · 26-30, F
always remember this is not a perfect world you WILL make mistakes, so dont beat your self up if you screwed up something .
Portia · 41-45
@TheBatQueen thank you I needed that 🙂the jerks always get to me 🙄
ItsGonnaBeOk · 26-30, M
@Portia she is right, i am learning and practicing art and there always people who say you suck, i just tell my self "i know i am not leonardo davnje"
Portia · 41-45
@ItsGonnaBeOk I think this is the lesson I must learn! Not everyone is going to like what you do. Deal with it but be confident that what you do makes sense to you and some others. You can't please the entire world! 🤔
Stressmore · 46-50, M
depends, dont believe everybody, if te critic comes from a good constructive source, it is ok to listen all the way.. but there are lots of jaleous ayholes out there hide behind "giving notes" bs
Portia · 41-45
@Stressmore exactly 😒
SW-User
You should defend your cause... but the how and why are very situation dependent. Just remember, sometimes, sadly - people have their own issues and that's why they attack others.
Portia · 41-45
@SW-User people shouldn't attack others period! Issues or not.
SW-User
@Portia Well put. And true.
Whyme · 46-50, M
small steps it will take a while but be proud of one thing completely today n build off that
Portia · 41-45
Thank you @Whyme 🙂
Whyme · 46-50, M
@Portia your more than welcome
english · 56-60, M
Hey Portia, cheers for best answer, I think your confidence is fine ,I wonder if you were ever Bullied ,as a child .🤔
Portia · 41-45
@english I was a little here and there, nothing severe just silly stuff 🤔
SW-User
Criticism ? Comes with the job 😌. Walk away,take a long walk and think before acting .
Portia · 41-45
@SW-User 😳 did you just give me some serious advice?? 😲
SW-User
Surprise surprise 😉@Portia
Midnightoker1 · 61-69, M
Confidence, arrogance, ignorance. These are all close cousins, beware.
Portia · 41-45
@Midnightoker1 so I see 😣
Pawan · 31-35, M
Chatting with me....lol
Portia · 41-45
@Pawan 🤔
Pawan · 31-35, M
@Portia you may surely get out of negatives after chat with me, an LoL
ozgirl512 · 26-30, F
If you don't believe in you ....

 
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