Why Am I Like This ?

Whenever I’m in a relationship with a girl, I always ruin it.
I have a bad temper, let’s just say I’m temperamental.I also have jealousy issues.
I just get mad over little things, I’m an emotional abuser, I can’t stop the way I behave.
The thing is I’ve never been cheated on so why am I so insecure. I’ve literally lost the most beautiful, precious girl in the world because, of my stupid self. Deep down I don’t enjoy hurting anyone. I don’t enjoy the power and control, sometimes I do 😶