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Would you go for a really hot person with a dull personality or an unattractive person with an okay personality?

I'm stuck
One gives me attention from people /makes me popular but is lacking in interesting personality
The other is insecure but he really tries to talk
What would you do?
SW-User
I would remain single.
And wait for one that makes my heart beat and my mind soar.
SW-User
@RaemaSnr I understand. :)
LyricalOne · F
@RaemaSnr Remember your worth young lady. Get out in the stream of life, find things you enjoy doing and the right man, a like minded man who is worthy of you, will come along.
RaemaSnr · 22-25, F
@LyricalOne 😊thx
Keepitsimple · 51-55, F
Think about life in 20 years when they don’t look hot and you have nothing in common and can’t even talk or laugh together. Do you want to live like that forever?
RaemaSnr · 22-25, F
@Keepitsimple No way!
indyjoe · 56-60, M
I was never attracted to the "beautiful" and shallow types...I liked attractive and great personality types. I have seen people who I did not think were attractive at all (and some were just plain ugly), but they had wonderful personalities and demeanor about them...what it all comes down to is it all depends on what YOU find attractive or could find attractive, and what is most important to you. Just keep in mind that not all treasures come in ornate chests nor the best gifts always come in the prettiest packages.
RaemaSnr · 22-25, F
@indyjoe For me it seems to be the opposite I get attracted to the ones in pretty packaging. I should stop I guess? Just don't know how
indyjoe · 56-60, M
@RaemaSnr Attraction is not all about looks alone...many a good man or woman has been turned down, ignored, and rejected just because their looks didn't turn the other person on enough. I have learned that you'd be surprised how love and affection for a person will enhance (even change) the way they look to you. My lust and desire for my wife is increased by my love for her. She is not "ugly" and never was, but she is not perfect by any means and getting older has caused her body to change...but she still looks as "hot" to me as she did in the beginning.😉
toddr13 · 46-50, M
Whomever is the most interesting to you, since intelligence, wit, and kindness tend to outweigh outward appearance. Perhaps it would be best not to commit to either, since "dull" and "unattractive" descriptions indicate that one would be settling, and generally nothing good comes from that.
RaemaSnr · 22-25, F
@toddr13 Thanks I appreciate that point of view
Lackwittyname · 51-55, M
I would say just relax, you are young. I understand from your other responses that you are lonely, but that is the worst reason to get in a relationship, means you are settling and desperate. You have to be able to enjoy your own company, in the end this makes you more attractive.

As for the two you have, I would guess the one that gives you attention is going to be fleeting, he does it now, but over time that could disappear, then what. The other one that is insecure, well it could be a temporary thing as he gets to know you and develops more security. This said if you find him unattractive then that is not really going to work.

Have fun with both, but don't settle for either.
RaemaSnr · 22-25, F
@Lackwittyname Oof hitting me with wisdom, thanks
Lackwittyname · 51-55, M
@RaemaSnr Haha, sorry about the whole wisdom thing, but really, relax. I am 47, I did not find my perfect partner until I was 44. We live together, have talked of marriage even though we are both once divorced. Life is a journey, and I have found a lot happens over time.
gmatthewb · 51-55, M
Personality wins out over the long term. Kind of a bonus with dating someone who isn't very attractive, you don't have to worry about others trying to steel them away. Also, good looks fade over time, but an okay personality can mature and become a truly beautiful thing over time. I will always take inner beauty over exterior beauty.
RaemaSnr · 22-25, F
@gmatthewb but idk I don't wanna fix him or be his hero
gmatthewb · 51-55, M
@RaemaSnr Then pass on both and wait for someone better. You're young, you have so much time ahead of you. If you want a relationship to last the rest of your life, don't rush into it. Take your time and find the person who is right for you. They don't have to be perfect.
Mindful · 56-60, F
YOuve gotten some GREAT advice here. Seriously great.

Waiting is no fun. For me I have a high need for companionship. If you have to be in a relationship of some type, I always picked someone based on whether he would be a great father if he were to aacidentally impregnate me. That’s imperative. And that might even motivate you to wait a while.
RaemaSnr · 22-25, F
@Mindful I gueeeeess
Neither...... theres a better option out there.
RaemaSnr · 22-25, F
@SheCallsMeCrushDaddy when will they arrive🙃
@RaemaSnr when its meant to be..... it will happen. just keep your eyes open.
Moonlightfae · 51-55, F
Mine has both in my eyes..so I'd look for both
RaemaSnr · 22-25, F
@Moonlightfae Ugh one day ill be as blessed as you
th3r0n · 41-45, M
Neither.

I don't want a woman with a bad personality no matter how pretty, and a woman with a pleasant personality that's literally unattractive enough that her stripping down isn't arousing, there's no marriage potential so that's just a friend.
indyjoe · 56-60, M
@th3r0n Like you...I would not want a woman with a bad attitude, personality, and demeanor. However I have come to realize that a woman does not have to be a supermodel, a Playboy centerfold, glamorous movie star, etc. either. If she is a good, loving, and kind person...and if I am in love with her then any imperfections and flaws are not even noticeable and she is an absolute beauty and major turn-on.
th3r0n · 41-45, M
@indyjoe oh no, I didn't mean to say that I'm picky about looks, the crude and obvious way to state my looks requirement is that if she's naked it goes up not down

There doesn't have to be insane attraction, just some level of positive attraction vs repulsion

I wouldn't expect a woman to date me that gagged at the idea of seeing me naked, and I wouldn't go after a woman I saw that way either even if I really liked her personality
greenmountaingal · 70-79, F
Neither looks nor personality matter that much when it comes to long term happiness. Give me someone with a big heart and a big bank account.
RaemaSnr · 22-25, F
@greenmountaingal 👌that's another option that I hope comes along
greenmountaingal · 70-79, F
@RaemaSnr Read this book and you can make it happen:

[i]How To Marry Rich[/i] by Genie Sayles.

I highly recommend this book. If it had been published when I was your age, everything in my life would have been different, and, I think, better.
RaemaSnr · 22-25, F
@greenmountaingal Thanks ❤
Shayla · F
Neither. Wait for the one you don't have doubts about.
ContributorJo · 51-55, M
@RaemaSnr That's a bad reason to be in a relationship that you don't really want. It will stop you from finding one you do or lead you to hurting a person who doesn't deserve it when you find something better and set the consolation prize aside.
RaemaSnr · 22-25, F
@Shayla 😂😂😂
RaemaSnr · 22-25, F
TeirdalinFirefall · 31-35, M
Neither. Even if their personality is just okay; the fact I just think it's 'okay' means it's clearly not a good match.
RaemaSnr · 22-25, F
@TeirdalinFirefall lol I'm glad I cut off both of them
TeirdalinFirefall · 31-35, M
@RaemaSnr Yay for RaemaSnr
RaemaSnr · 22-25, F
Greymatter1001 · 56-60, M
Depends on how long i plan to keep them around. Short term go with hot. Long term personality is way more important.
RaemaSnr · 22-25, F
@Greymatter1001 tbh I'm looking for whatever term I can get
abe182 · 46-50, M
Have fun with both of them
Mindful · 56-60, F
@RaemaSnr I dated a guy I really liked but wasn’t 100% sure and then he proposed! I was shocked!
You don’t want that to happen!
RaemaSnr · 22-25, F
@Mindful did you say yes?
Mindful · 56-60, F
@RaemaSnr yes, I also wasn’t ready to say no or maybe
ContributorJo · 51-55, M
Find number 3.
RaemaSnr · 22-25, F
@ContributorJo Not at all actually. I believe I'm special and am worthy of someones attention. Just tired of waiting
ContributorJo · 51-55, M
Don't be. At least if you need some companionship then just let them know you want to keep things casual and you don't want a committed relationship. Date them both and enjoy each for what they bring.
You don't think so now but you are very young yet with plenty of time to find the right relationship.
RaemaSnr · 22-25, F
@ContributorJo Great contribution I'll take that advice
abe182 · 46-50, M
Dating is to find out what you want and don't want. I say date date date.
RaemaSnr · 22-25, F
@abe182 true true
sarahcupcake · 36-40, F
Neither thank you
RaemaSnr · 22-25, F
@sarahcupcake common answer
sarahcupcake · 36-40, F
🤨 I rather hoped that I wasn't common, actually @RaemaSnr
RaemaSnr · 22-25, F
@sarahcupcake 😂 Same here!
SeductiveCactus · 26-30, F
Probabaly wouldnt go for either of them tbh.
RaemaSnr · 22-25, F
@5thApprentice Ugh why didn't I think of that??😯
tenente · 100+, M
hot 🤔 because i'm as shallow as spit on concrete
RaemaSnr · 22-25, F
@tenente that's starting to seem to be a not good option 😂
sarahcupcake · 36-40, F
It is possible... I'm not saying he is... but it is possible that Tenente is in fact solid concrete from the neck up.... sadly :( @RaemaSnr
RaemaSnr · 22-25, F
@sarahcupcake 😂😂 I guess I'll never know unless I see em

 
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