Struggles & Identity > Self-Help

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Would you make an effort to get with someone out of your league?

An attractive person basically.

(I met a guy for a first date, he's cute and has a nice personality. But we haven't spoken in a day and I'm wondering if it's worth making the effort to try get in touch again... cause he could attract model looking girls and I'm just average)

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th3r0n · 41-45, M

An average looking virgin is a better prize to find and keep than a 10/10 looking slut, you should see the value in your morals and innocence

Virgins are not only more innocent and tend to be cuddly, they won't see intimacy as one who is jaded, they're almost guaranteed to be insanely tight, and I've heard from many people that they're super clingy if you're the one to take their virginity (part of the reason I would love to marry one)

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th3r0n · 41-45, M

@DearAmbellina2113 nasty sluts turn me off and repulse me the same as virgins and other women who have kept more pure than most turn me on and attract me, and I have a distaste for sluts as much as I respect virgins

You offended because you're the nasty sort? Because that's the feeling I get from you

DearAmbellina2113 · 41-45, F

@th3r0n actually I've had very few sex partners for my age. But what I get from YOU is that you're insecure about your own sexual performance so the idea of a virgin who can't compare you with any other lover excites you.

Women aren't "nasty sluts" just because they aren't virgins. 🙄 And you may not think you're fetishizing virginity but you absolutely are.

th3r0n · 41-45, M

@DearAmbellina2113 I have no such trouble, but I won't be having sex ever again until I'm married, and while I don't have to marry a virgin I would surely prefer a woman who had the same morals currently. I would see a virgin as better than that, as they kept those morals from the beginning. The moral issue is the larger part.

I've had sex with two women in my life despite many opportunities to, and both times I intended it to be forever, but it doesn't work that way, that's why marriage is supposed to come first.

I was a virgin until 21 and meant to be until marriage, but the girl I had been engaged to and I split and I was literally insane for a little while from the pain, she had been a virgin also and both of us followers of Christ

She would have married me if we had sex, she wanted to and I knew she would not have left if I did, broken and distraught I thought to myself that was my mistake and had sex with the next girl I got with thinking that it would make it last, I was too broken to reason.

I always had this value, rather than the perverted old man going around having sex and lusting after virgins that you're trying to make me out to be, my views and what I find honorable have not changed, and I won't be making the same mistakes ever again, it's been 13 years already.

greenmountaingal · 70-79, F

One rule in situations like this; never judge yourself to be out of someone's league. If any judgment is to be made, let it be the person you are interested in who decides whether you are right for them.

RaemaSnr · 22-25, F

@greenmountaingal Thanks😅

Dan193 · 31-35, M

Lately I've been thinking that if you're going to go for somebody, you better try to go for somebody out of your league, because with time you might improve your perception of yourself. So in order to not have thoughts about "I could've done better" afterwards. Just go for the best of the best, diamond among gems kind of person.
Also at the end of the day, that would be like the scariest and craziest ride in an amusement park - you go through it and you improve yourself by not being scared of rides like that no more.

RaemaSnr · 22-25, F

@Dan193 oof I like your analogy👏

Dan193 · 31-35, M

@RaemaSnr 😄 Thank you.

LyricalOne · F

Don’t sell yourself short. And it’s only been one day.

RaemaSnr · 22-25, F

@LyricalOne aw thanks 😄 a lot can happen in a day

LyricalOne · F

@RaemaSnr Don’t overthink it. 😉

DearAmbellina2113 · 41-45, F

I never do, but that's because my self esteem is shit.

RaemaSnr · 22-25, F

@DearAmbellina2113 partially same😂

SW-User

No. Im too lazy to even move

RaemaSnr · 22-25, F

@SW-User I get you lol

TeirdalinFirefall · 31-35, M

In general better looking people get a lot more attention, and the more attention someone gets the bigger their ego generally gets and the less they think of anyone they consider on a lower standard.

Not messaging for a whole day after that seems like, a bad sign though.

DDonde · 31-35, M

If they're obviously out of my league, then no.

RaemaSnr · 22-25, F

@DDonde I see

DDonde · 31-35, M

@RaemaSnr just to clarify, I'm not trying to say that's what you should do, that's just how I am.

RaemaSnr · 22-25, F

@DDonde lol no I get it, just not much to say😂

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