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Need good ideas for responding to my husband cheating

I know it happens all the time. And now it has happened to me. I want my response to be smart and I want my response to put me in a good position for Karma to take it's course. Also to not negatively affect my potential divorce settlement...
Fernie · F Best Comment
Fernie · F
😆...I see you have strong feelings about the cheating fool huh? Thank you for BA and have a happy life without him!!!
Waxfoot · 56-60, M
@Fernie lmao ouch

With revenge as your thought you will likely make mistakes, it clouds your judgement and almost always has unintended consequences blowing back on you. It can trigger a tit for tat going back and forth and also allow him to think of himself as the victim if your revenge is successful. He will not be thinking about what he did wrong to get himself in this situation but what you did to him to get him back. The best revenge you can have is to handle this calmly and go forward and live a good life.
eatpraylove · 56-60, F
i am pretty sure i will enjoy not only getting our house on the lake, but i have been meaning to learn how to drive his precious boat that i am going to own, and maybe i will bring a date on it and since my husband doesn't allow shoes on the boat maybe i will send a picture of my date on his boat with shoes on. after i own it i mean. and feel my bank account is about to get fatter. and i wonder if with a house on a lake and a boat and i only weigh 100 pounds, maybe just maybe i can get a younger man to pay attention to me.....hmmmmm i wonder how that will make my husband feel? maybe just maybe he will wish he did not cheat on me with a big chested whore? maybe?
go ahead and call me angry. i don't care. he will pay and if you try to get in my way i will make you pay too.
FunReader55 · 51-55, M
@eatpraylove damn.. get him!! take that pic of the guy in shoes, ONLY wearing shoes!! :)
@eatpraylove Well I guess that might be fun and I have no doubt you could attract someone. I am 32 and well, well lets just say you look hot as a firecracker to me.
antonioio · 70-79, M
Did you ever hear the expression
Fool me once, shame on you
Fool me twice, shame on me
The only reason why a spouse will cheat
If they think their going to get away with it
eatpraylove · 56-60, F
@antonioio I do not understand what your idea is. … not at all.
Fernie · F
@antonioio Spoken like a true bag of testosterone...really? The ONLY REASON people cheat? People cheat initially because they are selfish, betraying cowards.
HerKing · 61-69, M
@antonioio Men and women cheat for different reasons. Men cheat because they're selfish and think they can get away with it..women cheat (And I know this from my own experience) because they're neglected, bored, don't feel appreciated, need affection they're not getting from their partner, and part of it is the thrill. It often comes after months, often years of putting up with shit and trying to fix it, but one sided fixes never work.

Revenge is a dish best served cold, and I understand that, but if it were me the victim, indifference is a more powerful weapon. But that is only my tactic, I understand the temptation to have all guns blazing and exact revenge big time, but I think that's tiring.. Ever read/seen the TV 'The life and times of a she devil'?

Excellent.
SW-User
If you're already in the throws of a divorce... what difference does it make? Record what you collected about the cheating and saving it for the negotiations.
eatpraylove · 56-60, F
yes. I want him to pay for this.
SW-User
Is his mother still alive and does she like you?
eatpraylove · 56-60, F
@SW-User yes
ReluctantWife · 56-60, F
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Primnproper · 56-60, F
Mugin16 · 46-50, M
@ReluctantWife She is very dominant and absolutely in charge.
ReluctantWife · 56-60, F
@Mugin16 I would like to do that to you too mugin. and more.
Zeusdelight · 61-69, M
You thought the grass was greener on the other side, enjoy discovering the weeds:)
Zeusdelight · 61-69, M
That is good that it is a clear decision for you. So would you say what I suggested?
eatpraylove · 56-60, F
no, too mild. I am going to make him pay dearly.
Zeusdelight · 61-69, M
I thought you would use th3 courts for that!
SW-User
Tell him you know he's been cheating for a long time so you tried it too and now you've given him Clamydia
eatpraylove · 56-60, F
@SW-User that would mean I had clamydia.
SW-User
@eatpraylove erm it was a joke love
Fernie · F
Rokasu · 36-40, M
if you’re looking to hurt him, the best thing to do would be to handle it calmly and pretend he never existed post divorce. Show him how strong you are without him.
Fernie · F
@Rokasu Indifference is a powerful tool of revenge
lasergraph · 70-79, M
You can spend a lot of time and energy trying to extract revenge but in the end it will not have any additional effect on him but it will cost you your time and your emotions. You are getting a divorce, that is the solution you have chosen. If your marriage was a good one, he will know in time what he has lost and it will haunt him for years. Forgiveness is not about letting him off the hook, it is about letting the hate go that holds you hostage so you can be available for someone else.
eatpraylove · 56-60, F
@lasergraph 👎[image]
FunReader55 · 51-55, M
just my two cents.. and i know nothing of your situation!! societal, friend, family in this situation can have a tendancy to staunchly support you but stiff hard nosed "well if it was me.. i'd leave the so-and-so" leaving the cheated upon to face scrutiny for acting rationally and looking at he situation as an adult does with any situation. i'm in no way diminishing the level of betrayel of the act. but the only person who should decide what to do is you. and him if you want to include him. i'm sorry your going through that. it sucks!!
Keepitsimple · 51-55, F
I would really move on. At least you don’t have to live a fraud life anymore. As for the settlement It’s really a numbers game. Whether or not he agrees is a whole other thing. Usually if it gets to the judge unsettled they are pissed and the one holding it up gets hammered. That happened with my sister and her ex.
eatpraylove · 56-60, F
@Keepitsimple no, I will not stay with him. I will make him regret.
Keepitsimple · 51-55, F
@eatpraylove I wish you luck. I doubt he cares though.
eatpraylove · 56-60, F
@Keepitsimple I will make him care
TexChik · F
First ... find a good divorce attorney , and follow their advice . Supply All the financial / asset info and snoop around for things he might be hiding from you .. and then get a good idea of how things will play out in court Not knowing causes fear, knowledge is power . And then when you are ready , have him served with the papers . Not sure what your states laws are concerning adultery , but you personally need to look like the monogamous victim of an adulterous husband in the judge’s eyes . Good luck 😉
SW-User
Talk to him openly. Say what you need

I know this seems harsh, but don't be too emotional as this could be used against you as if he is cruel and harsh he'll try to paint you as someone not to be trusted or volatile.

Children involved?
Fernie · F
@SW-User what a nutty thing to say to her. She has no responsibility to do any of that...he is the villain here.
SW-User
@Fernie Then you misunderstood my response especially since I never said a word about fault or anything resembling.
Fernie · F
@SW-User I think it is you who does not understand how betrayed she feels. I really don't think she is in place to be all Zen about what he did. You want her to let go of all that and have a lovely chat with the lying scum. She can be rational in her resentment and not do anything to make herself look the fool. She seems like an awake and intelligent woman to me. What you mean by her telling him "what she needs" I don't get. It's too late for that
Mugin16 · 46-50, M
Getting a good divorce lawyer is probably the best move then.
SW-User
@Mugin16 i agree with this, then get advice on how to behave to favour your case! Dont go off what these tards suggest if you are solely after the cash! When you have that in your hand cut his dic off!
eatpraylove · 56-60, F
@KingLionHeart is it always?
@eatpraylove I believe it is.. yes.

It does not achieve anything..

it is a dead end..
@KingLionHeart I agree, move on with dignity
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Mugin16 · 46-50, M
@Soccergirl2016 Ouch!!! 😱
wstcstrob · 46-50, M
Just thank him for the years you two spent together but it is time for you to move and then wish him well.
wstcstrob · 46-50, M
@eatpraylove I think that would work as well and you would get some great pleasure in more than one way.
eatpraylove · 56-60, F
correct
wstcstrob · 46-50, M
@eatpraylove Well if I lived near you I would volunteer to be your well endowed man! Dang I wish I lived where you do LOL
wstcstrob · 46-50, M
The best response is to act as if it doesn't bother and you are happy to finally be moving on. Just tell him thank you for making this easy.
eatpraylove · 56-60, F
@wstcstrob moving on to what. that is the problem.
wstcstrob · 46-50, M
@eatpraylove Moving on to much better things. There are so many great things to do with out having to answer to someone. Move on and have a great time with the rest of your time left on this planet. That is what I do.
MrGoodLick · 70-79, M
1st get you a GOOD LAWYER.
Believe me, I can tell you
1st hand how important that is. Ex Wife screwed me royal!! She had a GOOD LAWYER, I did not.
lovebcups · 61-69, M
Whats good for the goose is good for the gander , He is garbage and if he cheated once he has before and will keep on in the future. Most men are real selfish assholes.
ReluctantWife · 56-60, F
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ReluctantWife · 56-60, F
[image deleted]
ReluctantWife · 56-60, F
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romell · 51-55, M
why not cheat with the woman he is cheating with u for..get it
eatpraylove · 56-60, F
@romell good idea
romell · 51-55, M
tell him you had sex with a man that had a much bigger dick and was much better in bed than he ever was
MrGoodLick · 70-79, M
Best advice I can give you is " Spend the money on a
GOOD LAWYER"
MrBrownstone · 46-50, M
Don’t say anything. Let karma do it’s thing.
ReluctantWife · 56-60, F
@MrBrownstone make karma happen
SW-User
Good choice for a Best Answer....

They should be ... forfeit
Snuffy1957 · 61-69, M
If he cheated on you then he deserves to pay big-time :-)
StrictLoving · 56-60, M
fight fire with fire

come over tonight :-)
melbeacher · 56-60, M
Some marriages can survive infidelity.
mrbuddhawannabe · 56-60, M
Good ideas? Get a good divorce lawyer...
tomtracy438 · 41-45, M
Just leave his ass
Divorce papers
SW-User
His loss 🤗
BigGuy2 · 26-30, M
Take on a bunch of guys and then send him pics
Fernie · F
@BigGuy2 grow up manboy!
BigGuy2 · 26-30, M
Sad pathetic ‘Fernie’ makes a comment on my comment, then blocks me before I could respond, I suggest you grow some balls sunshine.
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