im going back to closing myself off to the world. ive been this way since i was a teen. its...

I feel your pain and my heart goes out to you, however, please consider that that type life was not something forced on you. It is something you chose. You have the option of choosing to turn things around, the same way you used your reasoning to live the other way. Things will always remain the same until you change them. You might start by getting help with the depression. One cannot think straight or make sensible decisions, when in the throws of depression. You're too young to live this way. Many other disabled, suffering or dying people would gladly take your place for a second chance. Life is a gift. It's what you make of it and do with it, that counts.

SW-User

The more you Shut your mind, the more you'll lose your tendency to see the good things. The blocked mind will never allow you to see the reality. Most of us say, oh there are no good girls out there no good boys out there, but we dont look at ourselves too. (our flaws etc). Similarly, you can never be happy if you'll continue seeing only one side of coin. Good people, Good experiences are everywhere, maybe you are looking for these in wrong places from wrong people!

SW-User

You have at least one person who will miss you if you do that. I know it feels like the easiest, safest, least painful road....but in the end, it really isn't. I hope you can find some of the gems that are here and that you can see yourself as one of them. *hugs*

SW-User

Don't let the hater's ruin things for you man! I can relate to everything you said so just remember you are not the only one! You seem like a really cool dude and I know at least a few of us will really miss you if you go!

MURD3RM0NK3Y · 26-30, M

Doesn't sound like a very happy way to live

Harlow · 31-35, F

Poor owl ☹️
I guess a familiar pain is better than an unknown one. But there is also the possibility of happiness. Hang in there

thinkbigaboutlife · F

Sounds a bit like me at times. Question for you: when u shut down like that, do you sometimes wonder if someone will miss you and write to you? Do you also say to yourself that it doesn't really matter if you stay away from social media, no one will write to you anyway or miss you anyway? Those r questions I ask myself or things I day to myself when in that shutdown mode.

Probably not true, but I tend to think negatively like that...