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I'm Sorry, But That Just Doesn't Work

You can't just TELL me things and expect me to follow your advice or get past my funk, no matter how sound your logic is or how much you mean it. By the end of the day, you're just TELLING me things without really knowing anything about me.

But you don't know of the struggles that go on in my head. You can't tell me they're not real, because you've never experienced them. You can't tell me you understand what's going on inside because if I can't possibly describe to you what's going on, how the buck would you have any idea? You can't tell me I'm just being stupid and stubborn because oh so help me I didn't grow up exactly like you.

And when you say "Fine then; just quit. You won't listen to me." that just makes things worse. It says to me just what I was thinking the whole time; that you don't actually care and ever cared, that you were just offering your 'advice' so that you'd feel better about yourself.

You can't just TELL me things and expect me to roll your way, or wherever it is you wan't me to roll. What's to say that I haven't tried any of that before? What's to say I didn't used to take advice from people but eventually just stopped after I realized that none of the advice I got ever truly worked?


What's going on in my head is that there's a Wall, a Wall I have to get past but can't because it never ends in either direction, its too high and smooth to climb up and over, the ground is too rocky to dig under, and the wall itself is too thick and strong to break through. There are no gates, no doors, no portal; no entrance of any kind. By all means; the Wall is impassible, and there's nothing for me on the side I'm on now.

People who walk by ask me why I haven't made it, they give me advice and very softly belittle me [sometimes without even realizing it] for not having achieved my life goal when others before me have. They all have advice, and in theory the advice is sound, but none of them offer to actually help me; they just go on their merry way once they're satisfied.

This is not what I -or anyone for that matter, need. We don't need people who can only confirm what we're already thinking; that we're failures and not worthy of the things we want and need the most
Miram · 31-35, F
Years of mental struggles have taught me that by adopting a perspective like this I am telling them they are failing me too. It is no different. Yes, I needed more compassion and physical support but so do they probably. I put a burden on their shoulders that it isn't theirs to carry and by doing that I gave up a portion of my power, taking the role of the victim when there is no victim hood. I learnt to let go, watch myself before other people.

We deal with things differently, what works for me may never work for you. That's something I fully accept.
rottenrobi · 56-60, F
This is [b]exactly[/b] me right now too. And its a lonely and misunderstood place to be.

 
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