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What would you do?

I came online this morning to a couple of DMs from a man I used to know through ep. I used to be on ep when I was 13/14 years old! It was a time when I didn’t really have a handle on my emotions and this person acted like he cared. He gave me a lot of support, we talked a lot and eventually moved over to using Skype. That is where he groomed and abused me - not that I realised that’s what it was at the time. His messages say that he has always looked for me returning to the site, he’s missed me and is a different person now. Part of me thinks I should just block and move on, but there is part of me that wants to know why he did that to me.

Any helpful suggestions?

(I’m not going to name and shame, it’s not for me to do that. He’s probably going to read this so I may get some answers without needing to ask)

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MartinTheFirst · 22-25, M

I mean if he still wants a connection with you now then perhaps it means he just likes you?

SW-User

Maybe he does but after what he did to me when I was a child I definitely don’t like him @MartinTheFirst

MartinTheFirst · 22-25, M

@SW-User I'm interested, how did you come to the realization that you did not like those memories? When was the defining moment?

SW-User

I knew it was wrong, as I got older I realised just how wrong. I was so vulnerable and as I processed my emotions the reality of what I’d done and the advantage he took of me really started to sink in. Now it just makes me feel sick and incredibly stupid @MartinTheFirst

MartinTheFirst · 22-25, M

@SW-User What did he take advantage of do you think? How was there advantage to take of you? Do you feel like you were vulnerable somehow online?

SW-User

I was really vulnerable, not that I would have admitted it at the time. I was dealing with grief and he started by being supportive and a shoulder to cry on so to speak @MartinTheFirst

MartinTheFirst · 22-25, M

@SW-User And you're sure that he was supportive just to get into your pants?

SW-User

No, but the fact is it’s what he did @MartinTheFirst

MartinTheFirst · 22-25, M

@SW-User I see

SW-User

I get the impression that you don’t think he did anything wrong @MartinTheFirst

MartinTheFirst · 22-25, M

@SW-User He did do plenty wrong, but I just want to know if you had a good personal reason to feel like he took advantage of you and should feel bad about those memories or if it's just a learned behaviour.