Why do I always have to oppose people?

Everytime somebody says something I just have to oppose their point of view and come with an idea that counters theirs (even if I agree with them), and when they defend their position I end up pressing more until it becomes an argument. Even when somebody just says something positive, my first instinct is to point out the flaw.

Why do I do that? I realize that it's to my detriment, but could u speculate on what could be the root to this behaviour?

SteelHands · 61-69, M Best Comment

If the other person is confident enough to voice an opinion about something and they articulate it convincingly it might be that you are only seeking what sorts of defenses they would use to gain more confidence when you Express an idea akin to their own. To someone else that oppresses your beliefs.

I don't see anything wrong with your doing that as long as you don't allow anger to take over the discussion and eventually tell them something useful.

You might want to let the person know that you actually agree and admire their confidence to state their beliefs in an agreeable way, unless they hurry to anger. Course then you might be able to let them know that anger doesn't help sustain a point very well.

Debate isn't harmful unless you find someone arguing from a position of authority. You'd be smart to avoid making such claims because that can lead to unknown levels of personal embarrassment. Name calling, rude assumptions and the like.

It's a guy thing. Don't expect a hysterical person to understand it or have any use for it. You'll only be given advice to be compliant.

Compliant people are actually fairly boring and pathetic. Try to figure out how to keep your sense of humor. Without it, you're lost.

Dan193 · 31-35, M

@SteelHands Thank you. And actually I noticed how I act on the other end. I just end the conversation when I see that the reason of their debate or argument is to get info from me, because they offer nothing and I just waste my time. Maybe it's a bit entitled on my part, but it is what it is.

SteelHands · 61-69, M

@Dan193 Yes that's also true. We benefit most by conversing at length with willing debaters that don't get emotionally upset. Anyone ought to be free at any time to take a position on things even not truly their own for what benefit can be got by eliciting, even to the level of forbearance of a unique perspective. Holding conversations of close agreement may work sometimes but it gets boring in the way it would living in an echo chamber.

There's always the risk someone will take offense or try controlling your speech through emotive displays and objections and rebuke however these are not the sort to acquire new ideas or deeper insight into too many things.

Well. I guess that exhausts this subject. Thanks for posting the original question and the top comment award. A good question to me is one that inducts multiple paths of reasoning. As you can see by the other replies as this one surely had.

Have a good weekend.