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What's wrong with me?

My alcoholic ex decides to come over to my place unannounced after a long while because I changed my number and he had no other way to contact me. Of course I let him in, I'm starting to question my sanity now. I've always had a delayed response maybe I'm high functioning autistic because I can never set boundaries even well into my 30's. He's sleeping on my sofa now and he promises to be my prince charming and knight in shinning armor. I want to ask him to leave but I feel bad. Why should I feel bad, I have built a good reputation in my neighborhood and I don't want to be seen around with a drunk. Am I a bad person for not wanting to be seen with him. He's very impulsive and he stumbles around drunk. Am I un humain for wanting him to leave after I never invited him over. He claims to love me after all these years, but I left him long ago because he is disorderly. I'm always taken advantage of because of my kindness but lately even I'm starting to think I'm stupid or rather on the slow end of the trail. How should I ask him to leave
JoyfulSilence · 46-50, M Best Comment
Sorry this jerk is bothering you.

I hope he left and never comes back.
@JoyfulSilence ❤ thanks joyful my best friend

dubkebab · 51-55, M
You know that alcoholics are professional charmers and liars,right?
We can also spot weakness and turn our own flaws into guilt and pity parties which somehow become your fault...cute innit? Perhaps he does still love you,that's beside the point,you don't need to feed into the chaos his world will bring into yours.
You've moved on,continue to do so,set your boundaries and stick to them.
A simple "Dude,it's time to go " would usually work with me when I would pull this act. You are not stupid for showing compassion in the moment,and your sanity is not the problem-his disease is.
@dubkebab yup he even cried which is why I felt bad, but I will probably call the police to remove him.
dubkebab · 51-55, M
@RadiantRuby of course he cried
I don't want to trash talk the guy,his pain is real,but I hope he somehow gets a clue that he doesn't have to live this way.It usually takes something drastic.I would advise cops only if he decides to be difficult,usually just a mention of authorities is enough to send a wayward drunk on his(or her) way. Unless there's history of violence,then yup,police intervention.
helenS · 36-40, F
(a) Just tell him to leave [u]now[/u]. Don't think about how to do it. It's really just "hey, I want you to leave now."
(b) Independent of that, try to get to grips with your feelings of guilt, which are not healthy.
🌷
DIMaverick4 · 41-45, M
Tell him to leave. And don't ever stop to think about it. When we have relationships, they are not meant for just the happiness of others or only for giving love to others. They are also meant for our own happiness. If we don't feel loved or happy or satisfied about being with that person, there is no issue in moving on. Besides you have moved on. Then there is no reason for guilt..
@DIMaverick4 should I call the police as I'm very passive, this guy always comes in and out of my life when its least expected. Maybe he will get the point
DIMaverick4 · 41-45, M
@RadiantRuby eventually if needed. First just stand up for yourself. You have a decision. You just need to implement. Just tell him to leave. And ask him politely not to come back. If he does not or starts creating a scene, maybe police might help. But police straightaway will be an overkill. But if you feel threatened, then you should call them..
YMITheWayIM · 46-50, M
Just like that.

And you are not the only highly functional being on SW. So no need to hide behind that.
MURD3RM0NK3Y · 26-30, M
You fucked up by letting him in so now deal with it
travelguy01 · 41-45, M
You don’t have to accept him being there if you don’t want him there, especially if he has a drinking problem and you believe he will just be the same way he was before. You have your life to live and you don’t owe him anything. Don’t let him take advantage of you.

 
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