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Y’all I think I have an eating disorder!!

I’m low key freaking out. By freaking out I mean laughing hysterically trying to distract myself with music and movies but it’s soo not working. Ok so no matter how healthy I eat, I’m so scared of gaining weight, when I get slightly full after eating I instantly think my weight increased, and my fat cells are growing rapidly. If I were to indulge in fruit, my brain shifts my thought process from being hungry to being fat. Idk, is it an eating disorder ? I binge eat, then I freak out and think I’m getting fat, then don’t eat for a while. when I do eat it’s a cup of rice then I feel full and I’m like shit shit shit why tf did I eat that!? 😩😩🥺 idk I love food, like I love food! Lmao but I can’t help to think that way.
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