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Y’all I think I have an eating disorder!!

I’m low key freaking out. By freaking out I mean laughing hysterically trying to distract myself with music and movies but it’s soo not working. Ok so no matter how healthy I eat, I’m so scared of gaining weight, when I get slightly full after eating I instantly think my weight increased, and my fat cells are growing rapidly. If I were to indulge in fruit, my brain shifts my thought process from being hungry to being fat. Idk, is it an eating disorder ? I binge eat, then I freak out and think I’m getting fat, then don’t eat for a while. when I do eat it’s a cup of rice then I feel full and I’m like shit shit shit why tf did I eat that!? 😩😩🥺 idk I love food, like I love food! Lmao but I can’t help to think that way.
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reflectingmonkey · 51-55, M
go about it mathematically. when you suspect your brain might be malfunctioning you use logic. calculate how much calory a persaon your size and age should eat to stay the same weight and that much, you can totally eat and cheat once a week if you exercise. if you ate the right amounts then you know anything alse is an illusion. i used that when i was suffering from depression. if i thought that maybe the depression was affecting my thinking, then i would avoid thinking and not take seriously any emotion or thought that crossed my mind. i treated depression as if i was on a hallucinogen, i knew not to trust my thought at those moment and not make vast, reevaluation of my feeling at those moments. i'd just wait it out.
SW-User
@reflectingmonkey Thank youu! Yeah that honestly makes sense it’s just my mindset and thoughts are so fucking strong but yeah looking at it like this makes it easier to manage. I need to start getting my health back in balance.
reflectingmonkey · 51-55, M
@SW-User I often wonder why they don't teach that to depressive and anorexic people. I had noticed signs that told me i was probably depressed and not thinking strait. one of those signs was if my dog looked like she hates me, then i knew my mind was going negative. so then i knew my mind was wrong and i just avoided thinking and let the storm pass and not try to understand. like that poor singer from the cranberries. how come no one ever made her realize that once you know your mind is probably making a mistake then you just stop trusting you mind for a while. having taken hallucinogen a few times sure helps to deal with keeping calm if your mind isn't perceiving thing right. like if you're on a hallucinogen and you see something that makes no sense, most sane people know very well its a hallucination, there's always a tiny part of you which can still have sane thoughts and think "hmmm, this is probably not real". know what type of mistakes your brain makes and then you can predict that it might be "one of those" when it has the signs.