Should the boyfriend ask the father or in some cases mother for permission before marrying the daughter?
31-35, M
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SW-User
No. It's literally no one's business except the two people that are getting married. I wouldn't expect my daughter to ask me for permission to marry someone, it isn't like I own her. I think the most I'd ask for is to get to know the guy, ya know? But permission?
Like, there's that whole "No one will ever be good enough for my daughter", "I'm gonna go take out my gun and take a photo with you and your date to scare him" sorta thing, but that mentality isn't cute. I understand that as a parent, you don't want your kids to be taken advantage of, but your kids aren't your property.
When I have kids, I'm going to have faith in my daughter that she'll choose someone that makes her happy. When you're giving her the message that her life is determined by how other people feel, that's a fucking problem.
I get the whole tradition, believe me. I've grown up around it, it's basically a part of my culture. But that won't be something I'll participate in. I'm going to introduce the person I want to marry, but I'm not going to have them ask for permission from my parents. In the end, it's my choice, not theirs.
Like, there's that whole "No one will ever be good enough for my daughter", "I'm gonna go take out my gun and take a photo with you and your date to scare him" sorta thing, but that mentality isn't cute. I understand that as a parent, you don't want your kids to be taken advantage of, but your kids aren't your property.
When I have kids, I'm going to have faith in my daughter that she'll choose someone that makes her happy. When you're giving her the message that her life is determined by how other people feel, that's a fucking problem.
I get the whole tradition, believe me. I've grown up around it, it's basically a part of my culture. But that won't be something I'll participate in. I'm going to introduce the person I want to marry, but I'm not going to have them ask for permission from my parents. In the end, it's my choice, not theirs.
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SW-User
@SimplyTracie I think you can show respect for a parent without having to ask for a woman's hand in marriage. It's kinda meh to me. I get it, I just think it's pointless and dumb since it isn't like you're gonna just tell the guy that you're not gonna marry them just because your parents don't like them, not that most parents would even say anything. It just seems like a process that you're going through for no actual reason.
SimplyTracie · 26-30, F
@SW-User Yes it’s just a formality I think. I don’t think it’s a sexist thing.
MartikaDuponte1 · 36-40, F
@SW-User For me, it’s just showing a little respect to your partner’s family and upbringing......
If, or when, one of my daughters want to get married and their partner wants to ask me for her hand, then, I guess that will show to me that they are serious about my daughter....so...in safe hands.
Ok, they’re getting married to the person, not their family, but even so, I just think it’s a nice thing......
M x
If, or when, one of my daughters want to get married and their partner wants to ask me for her hand, then, I guess that will show to me that they are serious about my daughter....so...in safe hands.
Ok, they’re getting married to the person, not their family, but even so, I just think it’s a nice thing......
M x
MartikaDuponte1 · 36-40, F
TheRascallyOne · 31-35, M
@DunDunDun OK so what I'm trying to say is women who view themselves as property is only 2 real ways to take this one would be this she's in a relationship with a very controlling person and by all means that is not good and should not be tolerated. But on the other hand most people want to be in a stable relationship with somebody they can Trust and expect that person to behave And by that I mean not doing crazy shit Like for instance Going out at crazy hours or just Things that you wouldn't want your spouse to do while in a relationship with you. You'll see a lot of women say you don't own me but they go out and do things that upsets the partner or hurts the partner's feelings and if you're intentionally doing that then you should just break up with the person because you're not doing them any favors
TheRascallyOne · 31-35, M
@DunDunDun lol
DunDunDun · 22-25, F
@SimplyTracie I wouldn't want a man to view me as property no. It doesn't matter what your opinion is, doesn't change the meaning of sexism.
SimplyTracie · 26-30, F
@DunDunDun So if your fiancé asked your dad for his blessings, he is a sexist? I will have to rethink the definition of sexism.
DunDunDun · 22-25, F
@SimplyTracie yeah, he would be
Effloresce · 26-30, F
Mountainlady16 · 22-25, F
BiasForAction · M
Mountainlady16 · 22-25, F
SimplyTracie · 26-30, F
MellyMel22 · F
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Mountainlady16 · 22-25, F
@DownTheRabbitHole act dumbass Alabama marriage laws are stricter than most states
Prettybrat · 26-30, F
