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Is it fair to criticize the action, or the person who took it?

If you pass judgement on the person, you don't accept the fact that he might have made a mistake, thus depriving him of the opportunity to change.

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trackman11 · 61-69, M Best Comment

If your goal is to be constructive, then definitely the action. Separating the action from the person focuses on a course of action and as you stated gives the opportunity to change. However, if a person shows (by their repeated actions) no desire to change, the criticism is a waste of time and although still not helpful to criticize the person, it's difficult not to pass judgement. Ideally, you either accept the behavior or separate yourself from that individual.

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proteus · 51-55, M

@trackman11 I know, especially if the person's actions trigger our inner wounds. But, as you said, it all depends on our goal and the importance that person has for us.

trackman11 · 61-69, M

@proteus exactly. If this is something you are experiencing, I am confident that you will figure it out. You are thinking the right thoughts. If just a mental exercise, it's a good reminder. :)

proteus · 51-55, M

@trackman11 Usually there is a reason behind every question. Thanks for your contribution.

Miram · 31-35, F

Mistakes can be repetitive enough to realize it's who they choose to be.

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proteus · 51-55, M

@Miram OK, but it is neither an encouragement.

Miram · 31-35, F

@proteus I agree. Looking back I don't remember changing positively because of harsh criticisms. I tend to disconnect more.

proteus · 51-55, M

@Miram Either disconnect of act against. That's true...

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