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Tell me a dad joke.

Yes, I actually think they’re funny. 😆
SW-User
Can a kangaroo jump higher than a house?
-
Of course, a house doesn’t jump at all.
SW-User
Did you know the first French fries weren't actually cooked in France? They were cooked in Greece
Bushmanoz · 56-60, M
@SW-User Oh I thought it may have been too deep for you
SW-User
@Bushmanoz Lol That’s what she said
SW-User
@SW-User 😂
SW-User
Why do fish live in salt water?


Because if they lived in pepper water, they'd sneeze.
What did one sock puppet say to the other sock puppet?

Can I give you a hand
Chaoshead · 22-25, M
I know more dad expressions than jokes, some that my dad tends to frequent:

1.) Put a fork in me I'm done.

2.) Do you ever look at a menu and say yes?

3.) It was almost good enough to eat! (after we have eaten the dinner)

(for some reason they're all surrounded around food)
SW-User
@Chaoshead Reminds me of my dad’s favorite. “Hot stuff comin throw.” (While he carries something hot.)
SW-User
Two peanuts walked into the city, one was a salted
SW-User
@SW-User corny. My ex-father-in-law told it a lot. First time I was like "what?" because it was so corny. He proceeded to explain a salted get it a salted peanut, assaulted because it was a bad city? "No no I got it, I just said 'what' because it was such a dry joke" oh, I thought you didn't get it? "No no dad, I got it, I wish I didn't hear it" 😂
SW-User
@SW-User Lol! I guess I’m a fan of corny jokes then. I have nothing to be ashamed of! 😆
SW-User
@SW-User 😊😂
What do you get when you cross an elephant with a rino?


Hell if I know lol
IWasCallingYaLarry · 26-30, M
@icantholdit01 Heard it. Still funny, though.
Lol it's corny but funny
IWasCallingYaLarry · 26-30, M
@icantholdit01 love bad jokes.
What do you call a cow with no legs?

Ground beef....🌽😅
IWasCallingYaLarry · 26-30, M
Do you want your milk in a bag?



No, just leave it in the carton.
IWasCallingYaLarry · 26-30, M
@SW-User I love telling terrible jokes too especially dad jokes. I often am called a dad when I am at work telling terrible jokes. I'm told I'm too young to be telling these bad jokes xD .
SW-User
@IWasCallingYaLarry Keep doing what you love man. 😉
IWasCallingYaLarry · 26-30, M
@SW-User Haha thanks xD . Heyy you can message me some time if you want :)
Bushmanoz · 56-60, M
ok..last ones
What do you call a deer with no eyes?

no idea

what do you call a deer with no eyes and no legs

still no idea

what do you call a deer with no eyes, no legs, and no d#ck

still no fking idea
Bushmanoz · 56-60, M
@SW-User you should not encourage this type of humor
SW-User
@Bushmanoz Lol Try me!
Bushmanoz · 56-60, M
@SW-User your turn. I will see if any a-peel to me
TheotherAndy · 41-45, M
What did the farmer say when he lots his tractor?

Where’s my tractor?
Dan78 · 46-50, M
Dad, did you ever get shot in the army?

No son, but I got shot in the leggy.
JohnOinger · 41-45, M
@Pointdexter So what do you think of Sadist & would you do him
SW-User
MrNoBody · 31-35, M
Why does the Swedish navy have bar codes on all their ships?




So they can Scan di navy in.
IWasCallingYaLarry · 26-30, M
I've never trusted stairs. They are always up to something.
Grandad said, here pull my finger 👉️ 😲
SW-User
@softspokenman "Pull my finger." classic.
I laughed so hard I broke my ass.
Bushmanoz · 56-60, M
lol..am I the only actual dad in here so far?..looks like im in with people who have suffered dad jokes..or as my kids would say "mum!!..dad is being dad again!!"
SW-User
@Bushmanoz Lol!
Bushmanoz · 56-60, M
@SW-User Sorry..it's like a sickness
SW-User
@Bushmanoz It’s awesome :D
Bushmanoz · 56-60, M
Did you hear about the blind woman who got a cheese grater for Christmas?
She said it was the most violent book she'd ever read
SW-User
@Bushmanoz Oh no. 😆
Bushmanoz · 56-60, M
@SW-User this is what happens when we are given free reign, but it's much better to just do spontaneous things that embarrass everyone
Bushmanoz · 56-60, M
What do you call a dog with no legs?
@Bushmanoz doesn't matter he won't come anyways
Bushmanoz · 56-60, M
@Bushmanoz it doesn't matter what you call it, it won't come anyway
Bushmanoz · 56-60, M
@boklenholley7 lol..how rude..and that will teach me to type slow
Bushmanoz · 56-60, M
Writing all these down!
This message was deleted by its author.
SW-User
@SW-User Why?
This message was deleted by its author.
SW-User
@SW-User oooh...

 
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