do you ever say i dont wanna live anymore nothing to look forward to nothings special to me anymore i just..............................dont care

I said that once, then I started choking on food, and felt suddenly happy to be alive, once I wasn't choking anymore.

One time I spent a week straight in my room and wanted to die, then a tornado was going to hit us, and I found myself suddenly in a hurry to get somewhere safe.

similar things happen to me constantly. Now I say "I want to fake die right now" as opposed to real die.

It sounds like you're just depressed as hell. Get help for it, and you'll get through. I'm here for you, man. Cheers!

[c=#800055]no, all the times I didnt want to live was when I was hurting, I hate negative emotions but I always fight to pull myself out of them. [/c]

No I don't.