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A farmer counted 197 cows in the field, but when he rounded them up, he had 200....
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TheGoodGuy · M
@SW-User lol, I'll add it to the list. But for now "its all about the second round" 😉
SW-User
@TheGoodGuy Thanks for the BA! :-)
TheGoodGuy · M
@SW-User Yer velcum. After reading the whole post again urs, again, made me
👉 😤
I had no option but to BA the shizz out of it 😉
👉 😤
I had no option but to BA the shizz out of it 😉
Picklebobble2 · 56-60, M
Remember ! Dolphins do nothing by accident !
It's all done on Porpoise !!
It's all done on Porpoise !!
Picklebobble2 · 56-60, M
Three guys in the pub and they start bragging about their dogs.
Owner#1."Well my dog is so smart, every morning he goes to the door and brings in the morning paper!"
Owner#2."Well my dog is really smart ! I can send him across the street to the neighbours and they know to come right over !"
Not to be outdone, the 3rd guy says
Owner#3. "Well my dogs so smart, every time i get angry he turns into an engineer !"
His friends look at him quizzically🤔
"How's that ?" They say.
Owner#3. "Well, anytime i kick his ass he makes a bolt for the door !"
Owner#1."Well my dog is so smart, every morning he goes to the door and brings in the morning paper!"
Owner#2."Well my dog is really smart ! I can send him across the street to the neighbours and they know to come right over !"
Not to be outdone, the 3rd guy says
Owner#3. "Well my dogs so smart, every time i get angry he turns into an engineer !"
His friends look at him quizzically🤔
"How's that ?" They say.
Owner#3. "Well, anytime i kick his ass he makes a bolt for the door !"
TheGoodGuy · M
@Picklebobble2 lol
Picklebobble2 · 56-60, M
A Nun walks into the Mother Superiors office. Slumps down in a chair and begins to cry !
"Whatever's the matter my child ! You look distraught !"
"Oh Reverend Mother ! It was awful !" weeps the poor girl.
"Isn't today the day you go to visit your family ?" Enquires the R.M.
"Yes ! And it was all going so well !!"
"So what on Earth happened ?" Asks the RM.
"I was at home having a lovely time, baking with my mother. My brother comes in from work and gives me a great hug and says "Are we gonna play golf today ?"
Well. You know just how much i used to love Golf before becoming a Nun !"
"Indeed i do !, i remember the photos of you and your trophies !" So what on earth happened ?"
"Well, we go off to play and i'm having a great time chatting and playing with my brother. We're on the 18th and i'm three shots up !"
"Well that's tremendous ! Surely the good lord was on your side today !"
"I thought so too ! Until i took the tee shot. Straight and true to the hole !"
"So what happened ?"
This ball flew high up in the air; and was caught by a passing Eagle ! He took it 200 yards before he dropped it. Just before it hit the ground, a Rabbit popped up from a hole and headbutted it in the right direction. A Gopher then ran across and snatched the ball and dropped it 6 feet from the hole !"
The Reverend Mother shakes her head. Pulls two glasses and a bottle of Scotch from the draw of her desk and pours two great slugs in either glass. Hands one to the Nun, takes a belt for herself, sparks a cigarette and says
"You missed the f*cking putt didn't you ?"
"Whatever's the matter my child ! You look distraught !"
"Oh Reverend Mother ! It was awful !" weeps the poor girl.
"Isn't today the day you go to visit your family ?" Enquires the R.M.
"Yes ! And it was all going so well !!"
"So what on Earth happened ?" Asks the RM.
"I was at home having a lovely time, baking with my mother. My brother comes in from work and gives me a great hug and says "Are we gonna play golf today ?"
Well. You know just how much i used to love Golf before becoming a Nun !"
"Indeed i do !, i remember the photos of you and your trophies !" So what on earth happened ?"
"Well, we go off to play and i'm having a great time chatting and playing with my brother. We're on the 18th and i'm three shots up !"
"Well that's tremendous ! Surely the good lord was on your side today !"
"I thought so too ! Until i took the tee shot. Straight and true to the hole !"
"So what happened ?"
This ball flew high up in the air; and was caught by a passing Eagle ! He took it 200 yards before he dropped it. Just before it hit the ground, a Rabbit popped up from a hole and headbutted it in the right direction. A Gopher then ran across and snatched the ball and dropped it 6 feet from the hole !"
The Reverend Mother shakes her head. Pulls two glasses and a bottle of Scotch from the draw of her desk and pours two great slugs in either glass. Hands one to the Nun, takes a belt for herself, sparks a cigarette and says
"You missed the f*cking putt didn't you ?"
SW-User
ok
A vulture boards an airplane,
carrying two dead raccoons.
The stewardess looks at him and says,
"I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.
A vulture boards an airplane,
carrying two dead raccoons.
The stewardess looks at him and says,
"I'm sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.
TheGoodGuy · M
@SW-User 😅
Annab · 61-69, T
A guy driving through the countryside see a shepherd herding sheep into a pen then taking one out popping around the corner and returning a minute later.
Intrigued by whats going on he shouts to the shepherd
"Hey! are you shearing?"
"nope, get your fecking own!" he replied
Intrigued by whats going on he shouts to the shepherd
"Hey! are you shearing?"
"nope, get your fecking own!" he replied
SW-User
:D
TheGoodGuy · M
@Annab lol
Picklebobble2 · 56-60, M
🐧What do Penguins sing on your birthday ?
"Freeeeeze a jolly good fellow, Freeeeze a jolly good fellow......"
"Freeeeeze a jolly good fellow, Freeeeze a jolly good fellow......"
TheGoodGuy · M
@Picklebobble2 lol
SW-User
What do you call a cold dog sitting on a bunny.... a chilled dog on a bun... sorry that's all I got... 😝
Why cant you take a test at the zoo?
"Because there are to many cheetahs"
"Because there are to many cheetahs"
TheGoodGuy · M
@Mineral2045 niiiice 💪☺
🍑🐕😨🙈
[youtube=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KI-KNZI2gO4]
[youtube=https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KI-KNZI2gO4]
TheGoodGuy · M
@SirDurpsAlot lol