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What is a phrase/word similar to putting someone on the backburner in dating?

I'm not angry about any of this, I've gotten used to being put on the backburner just like I've gotten used to being single. I have had a lot of relationship experience and I'm just in it to have fun as a single gay man at this point. But, being put on the backburner gets frustrating, and I will point it out, and guys just lose it and go to great lengths to deny it. They don't like that I'm smart enough to notice it. What is a polite way to confront guys about this without using the word backburner as apparently it's too triggering?
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