I Am a Believer In Education
Have you ever known an amateur psychologist/free counselor? I know two of them in my life. One is my niece and the other is my former neighbor of many years.
Unlike most professional psychologists, they believe they know everything about the human mind and human behavior. They are sure that if you would just listen to them, they could unravel what they've decided is your "mid life crisis" or your "bipolar problem" or your "PTSD." Or whatever they've decided is wrong with you. They seem to have swallowed whatever trendy pop psychology theory or idea is currently in the air.
My former neighbor, who actually does care about people and wants the best for them, specializes in the confrontational approach. She yells at everyone in the neighborhood who is overweight or obese (or sometimes people who have addictions or other problems), telling them what she thinks they need to hear. She even goes through their garbage to check to see if they are sticking to the diet she has recommended. If she leaves a neighbor in tears of humiliation from her rant, she says things like, "Well, SOMEBODY has to tell him!" (As if obese people do not know that they are medically unhealthy and considered ugly and scorned by most other people...like they have to be TOLD about their weight). She has the same approach to other problems as well. She is, basically, a non-televised amateur tactless version of Dr.Phil and his TV show.
My niece is somewhat the opposite, being excessively kind and endlessly tolerant of the bullshit other people hand her; she always describes them as victims of psychological problems that, fortunately, [i]she[/i] knows how to fix. She can diagnose them within a short time after meeting them, and she is 101% convinced she can fix them. Of course, this has only led to problems in her life caused by problem people. She has often met people who are in their 40s and 50s who have had a certain problem for decades, but she is convinced that now that they've met her, their problems (heavy drinking, bad temper, lack of self-esteem, lack of confidence) are all but solved. She has felt very unhappy when things do not go as predicted. And, of course, since she has taken on full responsibility for their lives (something more appropriate to do for an infant than an adult), she then feels responsibility for their failures and they are happy to go along with it and blame her. She drains her energy trying to fix everybody while never really taking care of herself; her life is a mess.
In both cases, it has occurred to me that with more education in their chosen field of endeavor--psychology and counseling--they could be very successful. Both are high school dropouts. Both adamantly refuse to get any further education.
My former neighbor says she is "stupid" because she dropped out of school in the 10th grade to get married and declares that it is "too late" to go back to school. Since she has stated this for the entire 30 years I have known her, at this point she may be right!
My niece dropped out of high school in the 11th grade but is well read and very bright. She has given so many completely ridiculous reasons for not going back to school, I won't overwhelm you by listing them here. (It would be a whole separate essay). She is now hitting her 40s and several years ago I gave up even discussing it with her. (Her last reason, given about 8 years ago, was that she already knew everything so she didn't need any training or further education.
I stopped suggesting this to my former neighbor over 20 years ago).
If these basically compassionate women would be willing to spend some time actually learning about human psychology and counseling, I could see them becoming psychologists and/or counselors and probably having very successful careers doing what they passionately love to do.
Meanwhile, however, my niece is living on the streets in a city where it snows during winter, while my former neighbor is now facing eviction from her apartment because the new landlord won't take Section 8 tenants anymore and she is on Soc. Sec. disability.
Lack of education in these circumstances seems tragic to me. What a waste of human potential.
Unlike most professional psychologists, they believe they know everything about the human mind and human behavior. They are sure that if you would just listen to them, they could unravel what they've decided is your "mid life crisis" or your "bipolar problem" or your "PTSD." Or whatever they've decided is wrong with you. They seem to have swallowed whatever trendy pop psychology theory or idea is currently in the air.
My former neighbor, who actually does care about people and wants the best for them, specializes in the confrontational approach. She yells at everyone in the neighborhood who is overweight or obese (or sometimes people who have addictions or other problems), telling them what she thinks they need to hear. She even goes through their garbage to check to see if they are sticking to the diet she has recommended. If she leaves a neighbor in tears of humiliation from her rant, she says things like, "Well, SOMEBODY has to tell him!" (As if obese people do not know that they are medically unhealthy and considered ugly and scorned by most other people...like they have to be TOLD about their weight). She has the same approach to other problems as well. She is, basically, a non-televised amateur tactless version of Dr.Phil and his TV show.
My niece is somewhat the opposite, being excessively kind and endlessly tolerant of the bullshit other people hand her; she always describes them as victims of psychological problems that, fortunately, [i]she[/i] knows how to fix. She can diagnose them within a short time after meeting them, and she is 101% convinced she can fix them. Of course, this has only led to problems in her life caused by problem people. She has often met people who are in their 40s and 50s who have had a certain problem for decades, but she is convinced that now that they've met her, their problems (heavy drinking, bad temper, lack of self-esteem, lack of confidence) are all but solved. She has felt very unhappy when things do not go as predicted. And, of course, since she has taken on full responsibility for their lives (something more appropriate to do for an infant than an adult), she then feels responsibility for their failures and they are happy to go along with it and blame her. She drains her energy trying to fix everybody while never really taking care of herself; her life is a mess.
In both cases, it has occurred to me that with more education in their chosen field of endeavor--psychology and counseling--they could be very successful. Both are high school dropouts. Both adamantly refuse to get any further education.
My former neighbor says she is "stupid" because she dropped out of school in the 10th grade to get married and declares that it is "too late" to go back to school. Since she has stated this for the entire 30 years I have known her, at this point she may be right!
My niece dropped out of high school in the 11th grade but is well read and very bright. She has given so many completely ridiculous reasons for not going back to school, I won't overwhelm you by listing them here. (It would be a whole separate essay). She is now hitting her 40s and several years ago I gave up even discussing it with her. (Her last reason, given about 8 years ago, was that she already knew everything so she didn't need any training or further education.
I stopped suggesting this to my former neighbor over 20 years ago).
If these basically compassionate women would be willing to spend some time actually learning about human psychology and counseling, I could see them becoming psychologists and/or counselors and probably having very successful careers doing what they passionately love to do.
Meanwhile, however, my niece is living on the streets in a city where it snows during winter, while my former neighbor is now facing eviction from her apartment because the new landlord won't take Section 8 tenants anymore and she is on Soc. Sec. disability.
Lack of education in these circumstances seems tragic to me. What a waste of human potential.
70-79, F
