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Today in hilarious bible passages: Joshua chapter 9 [Spirituality & Religion]

[b]The story so far:[/b]

[i][c=#BF0000]The Israelites have been cutting a path of destruction through the promised land, mercilessly killing every man, woman and child that they find in the towns god promised to them.
The People of Gibeon see all this happening and so they pretend to be from a distant land so that the Israelites will make a peace treaty with them.
When the Israelites discover the deception they respond thusly:[/c][/i]

[quote]Joshua called together the Gibeonites and said, “Why did you lie to us? Why did you say that you live in a distant land when you live right here among us? 23May you be cursed! From now on you will always be servants who cut wood and carry water for the house of my God.”

24They replied, “We did it because we—your servants—were clearly told that the LORD your God commanded his servant Moses to give you this entire land and to destroy all the people living in it. So we feared greatly for our lives because of you. That is why we have done this. 25Now we are at your mercy—do to us whatever you think is right.”[/quote]

Like [i] no shit[/i], Joshua! Why do you think they lied to the family butchering horde rampaging across their homeland? And then you get salty about it?!😂😭


Good stuff.
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GodSpeed63 · 61-69, M
According to you, those people in the promised land were supposedly innocent people that the Israelites supposedly murdered.

Have you not read what those wicked people did to their own women and children? Have you ever done any research on them? of course not, you just want to find fault with God and His Word. Not going to happen.
@GodSpeed63

lol geez, pull the claws back in, kitty.

I'm making no claims about these people or about god.
I'm pointing out that it's funny that Joshua would act like the wronged party in this situation.
Relax, it's funny.
GodSpeed63 · 61-69, M
@Pikachu [quote]I'm pointing out that it's funny that Joshua would act like the wronged party in this situation.[/quote]

They were since God gave the Israelites that land that the pagans squatted on.
@GodSpeed63

lol loosen up, enjoy the laugh.

1) Were Joshua and the Israelites moving across the land slaughtering wholesale the people who lived there?
[b]Yes.[/b]

2) Is it perfectly understandable and reasonable that some of the people who were in danger of being slaughtered wholesale would seek to save themselves and their families by lying about who they were?
[b]Yes.[/b]

3) Is it ridiculous for Joshua to be offended and wonder [i]why [/i]these people who he intended to slaughter would deceive him?
[b]LMAO [i]hell[/i] yes[/b]😂
GodSpeed63 · 61-69, M
@Pikachu [quote]1) Were Joshua and the Israelites moving across the land slaughtering wholesale the people who lived there?[/quote]

1) That's like saying, "The Allies slaughtered the Nazis, Italians, and the Japanese when they freed the countries that were occupied by them during WWII.

[quote]2) Is it perfectly understandable and reasonable that some of the people who were in danger of being slaughtered wholesale would seek to save themselves and their families by lying about who they were?Yes.[/quote]

Those people understood that God was with Israel and that He gave the land to the Israelites. It reminds me of Italy surrendering in the middle of WWII because they realized that they were fighting a losing war with the Allies.

[quote]3) Is it ridiculous for Joshua to be offended and wonder why these people who he intended to slaughter would deceive him?[/quote]

The Japanese did the same thing to the Marines pretending to surrender then killing off a few Marines before they got killed themselves. I don't blame Joshua for getting upset that he was deceived. You'll notice though that Israel did not kill them but made them wood cutters and water carriers.
@GodSpeed63

lmao🤦‍♀️
You're trying to turn this into a debate about whether the Israelites were justified in their genocide when it's just about the hilarity of Joshua being surprised that people would try not to be slaughtered😂

If you don't find the passage funny then let's just leave it here.
GodSpeed63 · 61-69, M
@Pikachu [quote]You're trying to turn this into a debate about whether the Israelites were justified in their genocide[/quote]

Were the Allies committing genocide when they killed the Axis powers during WWII?
@GodSpeed63

Were they killing women and children and old people, taking land and destroying villages and families?

lol never mind, this is one of my few threads that is not about debate.
You didn't find the passage funny, i did.

We'll leave it at that.🙂👍️
GodSpeed63 · 61-69, M
@Pikachu [quote]You didn't find the passage funny, i did.[/quote]

You found it funny because you lack understanding of the Scriptures. That's what I got to say about it. Take Care.
@GodSpeed63

Can i ask you a question or are you just not going to reply any more?
GodSpeed63 · 61-69, M
@Pikachu [quote]Can i ask you a question or are you just not going to reply any more?
[/quote]

What is it?
@GodSpeed63

If you were rampaging through a city killing women and children would you be offended or surprised if someone lied to you in order to spare themselves and their families?
GodSpeed63 · 61-69, M
@Pikachu [quote]If you were rampaging through a city killing women and children would you be offended or surprised if someone lied to you in order to spare themselves and their families?[/quote]

Would you?
@GodSpeed63

[quote]Would you?[/quote]

lol NO! Why would i? That's a perfectly reasonable response to a force destroying your towns, occupying your land and slaughtering your families!

So answer the question. [u][b]Would you?[/b][/u]
GodSpeed63 · 61-69, M
@Pikachu [quote]NO! Why would i?[/quote]

You've been lied to and deceived. Any sane man can tell you that.
@GodSpeed63

You haven't answered my question yet:

[i]If you were rampaging through a city killing women and children would you be offended or surprised if someone lied to you in order to spare themselves and their families?[/i]
Deesa123 · F
@GodSpeed63 please dont try and respond to this idiot..its his hobby to come on here and try and bully christians..he has no real life and sits in his bedroom all day playing with the giant dick on his head and thinking of stupid questions to ask..so be the better person and walk away leave him to sit in his own poison
Deesa123 · F
@Pikachu get a real life bozo