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Today in hilarious bible passages: Joshua chapter 9 [Spirituality & Religion]

[b]The story so far:[/b]

[i][c=#BF0000]The Israelites have been cutting a path of destruction through the promised land, mercilessly killing every man, woman and child that they find in the towns god promised to them.
The People of Gibeon see all this happening and so they pretend to be from a distant land so that the Israelites will make a peace treaty with them.
When the Israelites discover the deception they respond thusly:[/c][/i]

[quote]Joshua called together the Gibeonites and said, “Why did you lie to us? Why did you say that you live in a distant land when you live right here among us? 23May you be cursed! From now on you will always be servants who cut wood and carry water for the house of my God.”

24They replied, “We did it because we—your servants—were clearly told that the LORD your God commanded his servant Moses to give you this entire land and to destroy all the people living in it. So we feared greatly for our lives because of you. That is why we have done this. 25Now we are at your mercy—do to us whatever you think is right.”[/quote]

Like [i] no shit[/i], Joshua! Why do you think they lied to the family butchering horde rampaging across their homeland? And then you get salty about it?!😂😭


Good stuff.
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redredred · M
Why didnt a supposedly omnipotent god just put the Israelites in the promised land to begin with? Such horseshit.
Carazaa · F
@redredred
Yeah, God is just terrible to ask anything from us at all! He should just give us everything for nothing in return! Bad God! Bad God! He should have no requirements, just to meditate and sit and chant like Buddah or smoke weed,
How ridiculous! 😒
redredred · M
@Carazaa Well Canaanite infants might disagree with you but theres nothing holier than dead babies. BTW, What's your take on abortion?
Carazaa · F
@redredred I think It’s a sin! But I’m not to tell someone what to do with their own body! However, for all those who have had abortion, Jesus forgives all sin if you repent! God says “whoever sheds innocent blood, their blood will be shed” so this is serious! Repent and live!