Did i miss iut by not going to church? [Spirituality & Religion]

nah....

something about some bloodthirsty asshat trying out voyeur and incest fetish, and when that wasnt working he washed them all out.

Then he knocked up some woman (she says) and bailed on child support and was a total deadbeat dad for the funeral

No, it's basically just social conditioning why you have conflict. I can't say anything not knowing your family but when you have inner conflict, it's because it goes against the beliefs you were taught and you are subconsciously internalizing them.

Just stay true to yourself, if you know deep down that you don't believe in either, you don't need to apologize for it. There's a vast wide-open world for you to explore, life is for exploring.

You can get a lot of community and support from a church but i don't think that's worth being indoctrinated so no, i would say you didn't miss out.

Least you're young. You'll be old and no one will pay any attention to you soon.

No.

No.