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Should my Therapist know

Should I tell my therapist I’m in love with someone else other than the man I married? I’m worried she will dislike me and not be able to help me. I have expressed these feelings to him. I cannot be with him nor can he be with me.
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SW-User
Why would she dislike you? There is nothing wrong with having feelings as long as you don't act on them and cheat on your husband.
heartless · 41-45, F
@SW-User i can’t act on them in person but cravings have been acted online. i think she would dislike me bc she really thinks i’m a good person but if i express my true feelings i feel she will judge me
SW-User
@heartless What you did doesn't make you a bad person you seem to be in an unhappy marriage and having unmet needs your therapist should understand that maybe you would benefit from couple's counselling.
heartless · 41-45, F
@SW-User thank you for not judging me. i do have unmet needs. i’ve asked my husband to have intimacy with me. it’s been over a year. he stopped bc he says he needs to lose weight and exercise but he also has a pill yes he can take but if i don’t bug him ( not that it works) he doesn’t. so yea true i am sexually frustrated and unhappy. he also stopped touching . makes me feel as if he’s not attracted to me but he says he is. i don’t want to feel lust for another man. i do want my body to stop having its own mind . we have cybered. if he lived closer it would b bad so i’m grateful he lives thousands of miles away.
SW-User
@heartless Having an affair is never worth the risk even if your husband doesn't find out. You need to try to convince your husband that you like him as he is and you find him sexually appealing. Also do things that you know turn him on maybe even experiment with new ideas to get him going. Give your relationship a fair chance there is always a solution. But i still think you should get counselling with your husband if all fails.
heartless · 41-45, F
@SW-User oh i am still sexually attracted to my husband. thank god. i recently ordered a vibrator. i’m trying to keep my mind busy. if we do couples therapy it will cost more and i would not be able to go to the same lady who knows everything. she said she knows too much about him and it wouldn’t b fair to him. i love still missing my husband and hugging plus other stuff. he just doesn’t initiate it and i feel i shouldn’t have to all the time.
SW-User
@heartless I guess the only solution would be for you talk to have a heart to heart conversation with him tell him how his behaviour is affecting you. Maybe you would both reach some kind of solution he may also benefit from daily excercise as he said you could both go for a jog every day hopefully it would help improve the intimacy issues.