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How would you feel?

If someone you deeply loved asked you not to talk to certain people you were already friends with? Has that ever happened to you? Tell me about your experiences. Even if you were the person asking them not to interact with them?

It happened to me once.. I'm ashamed to say I gave in to make her happy. Though the people I stopped taking to I wasn't really friends with anyway, so it was relatively easy. She was just threatened by them for whatever reason. I am not sure what I would have done had they been genuine friends. I would like to think then I would not have capitulated.. but I was so in love I can't be certain I would have stood my ground.
JerseyGal · 51-55, F
This did happen to me years ago in a relationship. He tried to keep me from my friends I had prior to the relationship, along away from my family. I was to only speak to his family or friends he allowed me to. He also turned mentally and verbally abusive. It did not last long because I swore to myself to never stay in any relationship, no matter if it was just a friendship, if the person was abusive in any way.
Eclipsed · M
@JerseyGal yes.. I think if one doesn't know the harm it can truly do, they often buckle to keep the peace. But its a lot like paying a ransom for a hostage. Once the kidnappers realize they can get away with it and benefit.. why would they ever stop doing it?
JerseyGal · 51-55, F
@Eclipsed
Exactly. Many end up staying because they know no other way, or they don't know where to go.
I saw what was happening and got out. I truly feared fory life as I was threatened. Changed my number, went sort of into hiding at the time.
It's such a toxic state to live in. 😔
summersong · F
Never again. I ended up isolated and miserable.
Eclipsed · M
@summersong yes.. often in life it takes weakness to develop strength. Its very human.
KuroNeko · 41-45, F
It happened in a relationship. He didn't like me seeing family, I had no real friends because I was scared of upsetting things. It's no way to live. If anyone is reading this and someone in your life is saying this to you without good reason, then run, run away fast.
Eclipsed · M
@KuroNeko good advice
SW-User
I think if they trust you then there is no reason why they would keep you from your friends or anyone in your life.
Hopefully they would work through their own insecurities. I used to have more insecurities of being abandoned after I was abandoned and disliked people my boyfriend at the time was around, but in the end I found that it was my own personal issue and I would never try to force him to do anything he didnt want to do because I loved and cared for him. If I trust him then there should be no issue.

I've also been in abusive relationships where the guy wouldnt allow me to have any male friends. Felt miserable half the time, probs because of abuse and then being isolated.
Eclipsed · M
@SW-User I'm sorry you had to go through that and so much more life challenges and difficulties. I think you are a powerful woman and so much of your pain in life comes from you, like your beautiful winged friends, are in a cage. You have everything you NEED but still it is not the same as being free. You see freedom.. you see what is possible..but can't get there atm. Thankfully you will escape your cage one day. I am here for you novie 🤗
Benjr134 · M
@SW-User trust is a huge part of it.
I'm the person who tells my boyfriend not to talk to someone. It's his girl friend that he "had" feelings for. She actually had feelings for him too. Did he listen to me though? No. They still talk to this day and were about to hang out for his birthday. 😒
Eclipsed · M
@Nadie honestly.. it is dangerous. The only time I ever cheated was with an ex.. she knew all my turn ons and buttons.. she played me so easily.. I felt like I lost control of myself. It was a low moment for me. Thanks for your story.
Benjr134 · M
@Nadie That’s one of the few instances where I would understand it.
NewBeginnings7790 · 41-45, F
I have, an ex kept me away from friends.
I was young then and stayed away.
Now I wish I wouldn’t have. I think friendships are very important to maintain.

However, friendships do not include ex partners or anyone that a person has shared an intimate relationship with.
Eclipsed · M
@NewBeginnings7790 that seems to be a fair assessment.. friends yes, fight for.. exes no, let them go.
Bubbles · 36-40, F
I find jealousy to be such a turn off. I would not give into that. Boyfriend's in the past have tried...or I should say ex-boyfriends
Eclipsed · M
@Bubbles I'm glad you set hard boundaries and refuse to settle. That is very admirable ❤️
SW-User
It suggests that they don't trust you. Not good
Eclipsed · M
@SW-User true
SW-User
@Eclipsed People need friends. One can never have too many. When I date, I don't tell him who he can talk to.
Eclipsed · M
@SW-User you are very confident! But lioness' are not easy to push around anyway.. being Apex preditors amd all ;)
CBarson · 51-55
Yes. My ex partner. Turns out they were correct. Those people weren't really my friends
Eclipsed · M
@CBarson thats interesting... so that worked out for the better.. I appreciate that perspective!
SW-User
He said he didn't like it when I spoke to certain people. I've since apologised to them.
Eclipsed · M
@SW-User awww.. I'm glad yiu made amends. Live and learn.. its a hallmark of bettering ourselves.
JupiterDreams · 31-35
After making that request, he'd soon be an ex 😌
Eclipsed · M
@JupiterDreams wow!!! Good for you jup!
those insecurities are a bad sign...
Eclipsed · M
@Experienced33 I agree
JoeyFoxx · 51-55, M
Depends on the motivation
Eclipsed · M
@JoeyFoxx true it is not black and white.. like one person said a bf hanging out with an ex.. that seemed like a possible justifiable condition to create a no go rule.
This message was deleted by its author.
Eclipsed · M
@SW-User you deleted.. 😞
SW-User
@Eclipsed Yeah, but I was ignoring what you were saying, wasn’t I? And then I immediately went into my rant, thinking of my own situations. But you’re talking about something more specific. And I’m really sorry I disregarded that.
Eclipsed · M
@SW-User you are my friend. I love hearing whatever you have to say to me 🤗

 
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