I Write From The Heart

I step out of the shadows into the misty grey twilight and walk forward. My whole past swirls behind me, I am walk away from it all. I look down at the blood on my hands, the darkness in my heart. Could I rise above it all? Could I really climb above the darkness that plagues me. I step from the mossy forest floor onto the cobblestone road. I remember the whispers. I remember the touches. This was the way it was always meant to be. I have never loved anyone the way I love you. I walk along the cobbled road and come to the beginning of the bridge, rising up to a higher level in the mountains. The bridge has no guard rails it is just a road stretching out across the void. A single walkway above the rushing cold water in the gorge so far below. Everything was quite, still, except for a slight breeze.

Everything in my life has led me to this moment. Everything has trained, prepared, and broken me for this one pivotal moment. In this moment I am absolutely alone, not another creature there to witness. I hear the soft thud of my leather boot on the stone as I walk over the bridge. Rising up before me out of the mist is a fortress, a collection of carefully piled stones to form a bastion of strength. The walls are thick, strong, and dark. The keep rises up behind into the sky, foreboding, impenetrable. I walk up to the gate and press my hand against the hard scarred wood. I make a fist and strike the gate three times.

Every man is bound by his word whether he knows it or not, every man is led by his heart. No man escapes the consequences of his actions, no man can walk a road he did not chose. Free will is relentless. Freedom has its own costs. Nothing in this world is free and that is something I finally have realized. This is how it was meant to be, there was no other way it could be. Not because I believe in fate, but because every choice has a result. Every action a reaction. I could not rise above it all. I was not better than the things I did.

I sink to my knees and hit the door three more times. There is nothing left for me to go back to. I hear footsteps behind me. I turn to see a dark figure standing at the other end of the causeway. Covered in black armor they stand tall, much taller than I, and powerful with a sword at their side and a long pike in hand. Slowly the figure walks towards me, helm completely obscuring their face. I reach into my jerkin and pull out the key I ware on a chain. I hold it in front of my face. I whisper, almost to the gate, "I loved you more than I thought possible. I don't think anyone has ever loved anyone the way I love you." The key fades away into dust as I watch it, blowing away in the breeze. I stand, my back to the gate, and draw my sword.

I thought I was better, I thought I had courage, I thought I was so much more. But now only darkness remains. I am so afraid. Afraid of nothing more so than the thought of hurting you. How could I hurt you? This is the way it is meant to be.

I watch the dark figure approach as tears rolled down my face...

Nothing could ever make me more frightened than the thought of hurting you.


[i]Inspired by "Fortress" by Bear's Den.[/i]