I Lost Someone To Suicide
She was 18. She wanted to be a police officer when she grew up. I met her when I joined the police explorers. She seemed like she would have been the best police officer out of everyone in our post. I rarely ever saw her upset or unhappy. She liked to laugh and smile a lot. She seemed happy, from the outside at least.
I got the news about on November 3, 2015. When they first told me about it I couldn't believe it for a second. They told us that she was found dead the night before in her bedroom.
I felt pretty depressed for 2 weeks after that. For the first couple of nights it was difficult to get my mind off of it. I thought of all the things I could have done to prevent that from happening. But I couldn't see it coming, I don't think any of us could. She always seemed happy no matter how bad the day went for us. Out of all the higher ranking explorers, she was my favorite. She would always answer my questions and texts, when the others would just ignore me. She technically didn't have too, but she still did, whether it was police related or not.
For awhile I kept asking myself why she did it. I might have figured it out from a recent discovery I made. I learned from all this that everyone had a part of them that they don't show. We all got a number to a counseling hotline we could call at any time. It was confidential and they would talk about anything. We were told someone called it twice, I don't know whether it was her or not. I called it a couple days after getting the news.
I can't imagine the pain her parents went through. They will probably never heal from it.
When someone seems too happy and optimistic, I start to get suspicious. I feel like they are really trying to convince themselves to be happy so they can hide something. Guilt, depression, something that they don't want everyone to know about. I sometimes worry that one day I will wake up just to find out someone I care about is gone.
I got the news about on November 3, 2015. When they first told me about it I couldn't believe it for a second. They told us that she was found dead the night before in her bedroom.
I felt pretty depressed for 2 weeks after that. For the first couple of nights it was difficult to get my mind off of it. I thought of all the things I could have done to prevent that from happening. But I couldn't see it coming, I don't think any of us could. She always seemed happy no matter how bad the day went for us. Out of all the higher ranking explorers, she was my favorite. She would always answer my questions and texts, when the others would just ignore me. She technically didn't have too, but she still did, whether it was police related or not.
For awhile I kept asking myself why she did it. I might have figured it out from a recent discovery I made. I learned from all this that everyone had a part of them that they don't show. We all got a number to a counseling hotline we could call at any time. It was confidential and they would talk about anything. We were told someone called it twice, I don't know whether it was her or not. I called it a couple days after getting the news.
I can't imagine the pain her parents went through. They will probably never heal from it.
When someone seems too happy and optimistic, I start to get suspicious. I feel like they are really trying to convince themselves to be happy so they can hide something. Guilt, depression, something that they don't want everyone to know about. I sometimes worry that one day I will wake up just to find out someone I care about is gone.
26-30, M
