I Am Sometimes Antisocial

[i]I ruminate alot. I spend too much time doing so, I feel very much isolated from society that the fear of being misunderstood and neglected has dampened my aspiration. Being social is a tenacious burden for me. The risk in my eyes are high but the reward varies. I wouldn't brave a crowd of strangers to prolong my social life. I have no strength to fend off the daunting gaze of those who alienate my presence. I am but a shadow, stalking behind every object and observing the movements of others. In silence I wait. The fear of being detected and placed at the center of attention only brings more anxiety to my fragile conscious.

I admire a warm conversation. Not to battle wits or test knowledge. But the beauty of speaking to another human being about something that we both can relate to. It would ease alot of this antisocial pain. But this strange cloud of gloom creeps over and distracts my mind. Feeding me with deceit and deception. Although, I [b]have[/b] noticed a minor detail about myself.

I may be over thinking things. [/i]

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Moribund · 26-30, M

Ah, it seems that we are damned to follow somewhat similar paths.
The feeling of a mixture of dread and fascination before heading out to the weird, wild, yet wonderful world, is not entirely unfamiliar.

And yet head out we must. Not only for our daily necessities, but to nourish the mind. To offer the ole' noggin a few new scraps of material to ponder over. It feels overwhelming at first, yet after a while your heart begins to beat to the rhythm of the city. It's enveloped by the outside and by the yearning to watch, to spectate - to truly [b]see[/b]. You begin to notice all the minor details, the incredibly minuscule oddities that exist everywhere, in every tree, person and scrap of litter. The mind begins to wander and soon enough you'll find yourself thinking more potently than ever before. Thinking is what makes us great. It really is something to take pride in, even over-thinking. It's what connects us, what makes us perfect and imperfect at the same time. This is what drives me, and I hope many of us, to wander, to wonder, to marvel at the beautiful, and not-so-beautiful aspects of life and of the world around us.

And yet there's something else, isn't there?
Speaking. Speaking from the heart. Speaking with passion, compassion, love, hate, with [b]emotion[/b]. Sadly, this has become a rather rare sight these days, although that's just my opinion, and you know what they say about opinions...
Speaking soothes the soul, mends the wounds, calms the storm that keeps raging on our little hearts nigh-daily. It is a panacea for all that ails the weary ones.

And thus, I truly hope that you can find someone to speak to in such a way. That the days of daze and months of mist could cease and you could find solace from all of the hustle and bustle that goes on around us. I hope, for that is all I can do, sadly.

If you would like to perhaps speak or simply talk, I'd be glad to listen. Heaven knows, we all need a place to vent, to release all of that pent up steam.

Best of luck to you, fellow traveller.

Sublearner · 31-35, F

Hey I get like this too. 🤗🤗

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