do you like when people always touch your things and don't tell why they threw something away?

I live with four family members and my uncle has a bad habbit of touching things and not letting other people know what he's done with them. well the last couple nights hes turned the heat on while in 61 degree weather early in the morning which is RIDICULOUS! I've blantly asked him if he's turned on the heat and he looks me straight in the eye and said no, every time. then he starts emptying my coffee pot without asking me if i'm finished and i've asked him if he's emptied it out his answer is STILL always no. until he's ready to say yes. now i went to go for a sandwich today and my apple butter was thrown out.. missing, gone...
now before getting mad at my uncle i asked my grandma if she threw it away ( she was on the phone need i mind you so it was my fault i should have waited ) and her answer was no so i figured my uncle MUST have thrown it away since my grandpa doesnt even get in the fridge like the rest of us. long story short i yelled at my uncle over text because he's at work and i dont like arguing with him around my grandma. anyway, i told my mom what happened and she got furious with me. need i mind you, my mom used to do this same thing i did. i forgot. she said you used to get upset when i used to do that and that is just rude i would have blocked you if you did that to me no hesitation or anything. so it made it seem like .... its okay for her to behave like that but if i do that its absurd!!!! and just down right wrong. well i had my reasons. don't you agree? since my uncle has had a past of lying lately? (i'm not mad at my grandma.) it's just when history repeats itself with over several weeks it gets annoying. i need opinions on my moms reaction and my reaction.

when i tried to call my mom and explain to her why i reacted that way ..... she ignored my texts and calls.

UndeadPrivateer · 31-35, M Best Comment

Ugh, talk about a familiar situation. My own interactions with my mother, who [i]constantly[/i] tries to gaslight people, have been very similar for my entire life. She'll get all weird and obsessive about things and move things around with this strange mental excuse of "like things together" which I cannot even begin to understand and then if you ask her where the things are she'll just immediately answer, without thought, "I don't know." Usually immediately followed up with something along the lines of "I didn't do anything with it." Except that she's the only one that I've ever lived with who will put things in such weird places and shuffle things around constantly, so when the object [i]is[/i] found and it's in a very highly strange place it becomes obvious exactly who did it. Hopefully you can figure out ways to mitigate the issue, though I know it can be a struggle.