Guilt or depression

Grief is so personal. There's no rules that say we should feel "this way" or "do this or that." It is such a personal journey, and no two are exactly alike. I cannot tell you how sorry I am for what happened and for your suffering. That's just awful. It's ok and even normal to have these feelings. Some people grieve without even crying. Everyone is different and handles it in their own way. No one should even tell you how long to grieve or how to grieve. There's no rush. When you're done grieving, your body will let you know. I'm praying for you. I'm happy to see in your profile that you love God. He'll help you through this. 🤗

It's normal for grief to fluctuate.

There are normal stages: shock, denial, bargaining, anger, grief and finally acceptance combined with peace.

These stages can happen at different times, they can overlap, disappear and return, and there is no definite or normal amount of time.

Sometimes grief can be complicated because there was conflict in the relationship. This means there's lots of unresolved anger hanging around in the person left behind, and with no target to focus on, it can turn inwards.

If we have a strong sense of duty, and believe that we didn't for our best for that person (there were probably very good reasons), we can end up feeling guilt and being unwilling to forgive ourselves. In a case like that we get trapped by guilt. It's a form of self-punishment which can be extremely cruel and unjust.

It is okay to let go of guilt and to forgive yourself.

If you want to talk further about it, you can message me.
I was trained as a Lifeline telephone counselor.

I think it's entirely normal. But when you think about it, do you think your loved ones would want you to feel guilty about feeling happy? I know I wouldn't.

Grief is a tough row to hoe and you will feel sad often enough in the coming days. It's not disrespectful to live your life.

Yeah when my family was killed I had it for a long time. I felt horrible that I wasn't with them when they died.

I think it’s normal. It’s part of grieving. It’s called survivors guilt.

Yes. These are the end of your years like all those who live and see their family's pass. I'm sorry for your loss as my mother also ended her life in 06. So I understand your pain and loss. But you still have time to make a family of your own. Be well. 🤗

I'm sorry you went through all that and I hope you can embrace the moments of happiness that come to you