Why do I get upset when I hear kids or people say "Mama" or "Mom"?

I get upset because I can't run or hug my mom at all. I absolutely HATE mothers day with a passion. I loved it until my mom left. It was hard for me. It still is. Eight Mother's Days without my mother. I get jealous when I see my friends and some of my cousins post how amazing and wonderful their "mommies" are. They're too old to call their mom "Mommy". Just STOP BRAGGING ABOUT HOW STRONG, AMAZING AND INSPIRING YOUR MOMS ARE! MY MOM LEFT TO PURSUE HER OWN LIFE AND DREAM WHEN I NEED HER! All I have is a stupid COMPUTER to read about how wonderful mothers are! I have NOTHING! I wish I can say how strong and amazing my mom is. No! She left us, didn't want to be a mother and only thinks of herself. She never calls or visits us! She wasn't there when I started my first period. Who was I suppose to ask? Does that sound like a strong woman?! My mom used to be a strong woman! WHY CANT MY MOM BE LIKE OTHER MOM! I WANT MY MOM!