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How do you cope with toxic or negative family members?

I don’t have a positive relationship with my family. I have had Freinds who were more like a mum or a dad to me and I’ve met people who were more like that to me. My dad shouts at me and verbally abuses me and if I start crying or get upset or depressed for any reason I get shouted at and called names. I suffered from depression since I was 10. My mum didn’t want to spend any time with me when I was little and never wanted anything to do with me. Ever since I was 11 my relationship with my mum has been very negative due to her abusive husband who used to bully me when I lived there. My mum has kicked me out of the house when I was 12 or 13 and I was forced to live with my dad. I’m greatful for him not dumping me in care as that would have happened if he didn’t take me in but he can be pretty controlling at times. My dad never supports me or helps me with anything and I’m struggling to get something in place for September as he won’t help me with it. My dad also blames everything on me what’s happened in my past and with college. My aunty throws all my stuff away and reorganises my room when I’m out as she’s the landlord. My uncle tries to help me but he makes arguments worse with my dad by trying to stop it. My dad keeps talking to me about his problems and won’t listen to mine and tells me to shut up and says he’s sick of hearing about my problems. Also my dad won’t let me move out until I’m 25 or in a relationship. Any advice would be appreciated thank you.
cherokeepatti · 61-69, F
Stay the hell away from them. One sister I put an end to her nonsense a few years ago and now she is posting on FB she has freed herself from toxic people including relatives...that's an example of her twisting crap around to attempt to make herself look good.
NJA82 · 41-45, M
Mostly I fire them, or the ones who don’t work for me I just tell to fuck off.
NJA82 · 41-45, M
I employ 200 people, when I took over from my Dad about 50 of them were family, I’ve got that down to about 20, I’m not very popular with my family. Lol
cherokeepatti · 61-69, F
@NJA82 Well if they don't have a good attitude family members can be the worst, they have a sense of entitlement and set a poor example for the other workers
NJA82 · 41-45, M
Yep, exactly why they are gone, no one eats at my table for free.
Pfuzylogic · M
Your Dad pretends he has more control than he actually has. Don’t let him or your aunt intimidate you because that is what they are actively trying to do right now.
I would find a place whether it is with a friend or a locker you can rent so that your Aunt can’t trash your Art or writings that are dear to you. She is being an ass.
SW-User
If you're 18, he cannot stop you from moving out, you just have to be able to do it. I think that would be the best thing for you.... get out on your own and away from all of their toxicity.
SW-User
@SW-User yes I’m 18. But he said the council won’t give me a place as I have a mental illness.
SW-User
@SW-User Well, I'll admit I don't know how things work where you are, but I'll tell you this.... don't just take his word for it. If he wants to control you, he'll say whatever he wants to get what he wants. Do your own research.
SW-User
@SW-User thank you. I will do. 🙂
carsonfry · 22-25, M
My advice is that you get a job and move out when you can support yourself.

That is what I did, luckily I was able to do it at 15, but I was not allowed by my father until I was 17.

I have been on my own ever since, and I am happy to no longer be in bondage over my parents bullshit.
SW-User
I cut them out of my life and just don't talk to or interact with them. It sucks but it's life I'm not being dragged down by their stupidity and toxicity.
SW-User
I would do that. Only problem is I’m not aloud to move out until I’m 25 or got a woman. If and when I get my own place I’m cutting them out completely and I’m not even going to give them my adress.@SW-User
SW-User
@SW-User yeah that makes it harder for you :(
Bluewind · M
I'm no longer in touch with family and since my parents are both no longer alive i have left the rest to their own devices. I hate Facebook but can't go back on there anyways as people i don't talk to would find me
SW-User
I just avoid them. If I need to be near them I'm polite.
SW-User
@meJess I like that. I want one of those.

 
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