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At what age would you allow your daughter to wear heels?

My oldest is 14 and has been bugging me recently to pick her up some high heels for her to wear out with her friends this fall. When I asked her why she wants them she says she is a high school girl now and wants to look more mature and adult like. I told her I'd think about it. What does everyone think?

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courtney0380 · 36-40, F

I think it has to be each parent decides I start letting my girls wear short heals around 11

beckychandler · F

There is the sexualization of children problem and there is the health problem. The former is a giant problem, but I don't have time to get into the horrors of it right now. On the health problem it is my understanding that children's feet do not stop growing until at least the mid-teens – and should thus not be wearing heels – permanent damage can ensue (not an appropriate price for being fashionable in my opinion). At this time I am going through the process as a Mom. My oldest is thirteen. Her school has uniforms and does not allow heels (and the high school she will be attending also has uniforms and does not allow heels). We do not allow heels outside school. At age fifteen I [b][i]might[/i][/b] reevaluate – perhaps two inch heels.

Kathryn05 · 41-45, F

@beckychandler Thank you for the input Becky. My oldest school does not allow heels either as part of it's uniform so that is not an issue. As far as when she is out of school we've agreed she will be allowed some small "kitten" heels and low heeled boots but nothing more for the year

SW-User

If she could well balance herself on those heels, I think any age would be appropriate.

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Kathryn05 · 41-45, F

@SW-User I know I was so jealous! She claims the footwork she learns as a dancer helped.

SW-User

@Kathryn05 She's a dancer? Now I'm jealous of her! Lol.

Mugin16 · 46-50, M

@Kathryn05 I am sure being a dancer did help her.

LithiumDrop

I never asked my parents, I never thought I had to. Lol.

Start her off with small booties, maybe even some short wedges--especially if she's going to be wearing them to school.

Highschool is nothing like the movies... girls don't wear 6 inch stilettos to math class, and if they do... people are definitely talking ill about it.

Kathryn05 · 41-45, F

@LithiumDrop Oh I know about school. Thankfully there will be no heels at school as she goes to a school with a uniform. Which just means she wants to dress up more after school is over with!

Mugin16 · 46-50, M

@Kathryn05 That's is understandable. I am sure you were the same at her age. ;-)

beckychandler · F

@LithiumDrop Unfortunately there are way too many lax and liberal parents like yours were and schools without any semblance of a dress code.

And from my visits to the local government high schools (which as a board member of a school board I do rather frequently for one reason or another) -- there are plenty of girls with heels and some dressed more appropriately for a pole dance than learning algebra.

AnonymousJSS · 22-25, F

My mom let me wear heels since I was 8 so...

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AnonymousJSS · 22-25, F

@Kathryn05 Ohh mine were 5 inches? I can't remember. I don't wear heels anymore though. Don't like them

Kathryn05 · 41-45, F

@AnonymousJSS Oh haha. I'm sorry but in my mind I get this image of an 8 year old walking around and wobbling all over trying to pretend she is much older

AnonymousJSS · 22-25, F

@Kathryn05 Yeah kinda was me at first. Got used to them fast though. Not too hard

Mugin16 · 46-50, M

Your daughter is slowly becoming a young woman, so her wish is understandable. I think you should grant her wish as long as you pick out her heels (maybe kitten heels or boots with a small heels) and she needs your permission to wear them.

Kathryn05 · 41-45, F

@Mugin16 That's a good idea start out with some small ones for her to learn with. Let her grow into her role as a young woman :)

Mugin16 · 46-50, M

@Kathryn05 Yes, exactly. Let her start with small heels and maybe next spring or summer you can buy her strappy sandals with higher heels (maybe three inches) for going out or occasions.

TheMagicPill

I think that she is old enough to start wearing heels. Perhaps pick out a pair you both agree on. I was 15 when I started wearing heels, if I recall.

Mugin16 · 46-50, M

@TheMagicPill I agree with you regarding age and that both should agree on the shoes.

edge2010 · 61-69, F

Heeled shoes are not gages in her ears or a tattoo. I'd let her. She might decide they're impractical after all.

Kathryn05 · 41-45, F

@edge2010 Good point could be much worse! I just worry she'll be seen as all grown up. Mom doesn't want to lose her little girl lol

SW-User

@Kathryn05 That's one of the most beautiful things I've heard in weeks! 🤗

Thehobbit · 46-50, M

Well, all my girls are out now, but when they live here they were taught that caring for their body was more important than their looks. Saying that we also let them make their own choices in the teen years. Thankfully each of them chose, after trying heels saw how impractical and dangerous they were

Badseed · 61-69, M

If she were my daughter, I would tell her No. High heels are bad for her feet.

http://www.businessinsider.com/podiatrist-explains-how-high-heels-destroy-feet-jackie-sutera-2017-5

TheProphet · M

I don't see a problem with it if she has been raised well.

AmorFati · M

Not healthy at any age dear!!!

Kathryn05 · 41-45, F

@AmorFati Well not to wear full time certainly but they are attractive and feminine too and at the appropriate times are very nice to wear.

AmorFati · M

@Kathryn05 lesser the better 🙂

Pop0159 · 61-69, M

I would have a long conversation about why, what it means to her, you, others, boys, .. .. focus on what she wants to say about herself and what others may take it to mean .. .. .. I would then let her start to wear them at appropriate responsible times .. .. ..

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DarlingSelah ·

I wore heels every day when i was 15. I turned out ok. Oh wait, no i didnt.

chrisCA · M

When did you start to wear heels?

Kathryn05 · 41-45, F

@chrisCA I was allowed to wear low heels to church and other formal events at 14 and at 16 mom allowed me "sensible" heels when I wanted them so long as it was not at school