I Need to Vent

I wish a woman could get dressed up and only receive the attention she wants.... I hate being creeped on by perverts old enough to be my dad or other strange people. They are the kind that don't know how to hide it, not very polite. Do these people think that you've got dressed up for them?

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SW-User

so, when a woman...or a man, dresses provocatively. When they wear something short , sheer, or revealing....they are only dressing to appeal to a select group of people, or maybe even one specific person ? So everyone who is not that person, or a member of that select group should go blind to whatever that woman or man has chosen to wear in public? I can grasp the concept of not leering or shouting out cat calls, but how does a person not notice something that attracts their attention? How do they know that it's not for them to find attractive, but only a select few others? If I leave the house wearing a top hat and tails, with a boa constrictor wrapped around my neck, and high heel shoes...I'm damned sure I will attract some attention. I might not be trying to get your attention, but how could you know that? I understand that a woman, or a man has the right to go out in public wearing just about anything, and nobody has a right to stare or comment.....but to expect that people shouldn't even look in their direction, unless it's the people or person that they choose to attract? If that's what you're suggesting, and I'm almost sure you're not, but if you were, then I have to say that's a tad extreme, and by "tad" I mean extremely extreme. I'm not sure what constitutes "creeped on" or "not very polite" in your mind, but I'm positive you are talking about some obviously obvious behavior , and in that case, I would agree with you.

PaleandPolluted · 36-40, F

I wouldn't say I dressed that provocatively which makes it even more strange but surely a man who is old enough to be my dad must know I didn't get dressed up to impress him...

SW-User

@Paleandpolluted86: Do you have any idea how many older men date and in some cases , marry younger women? Much younger women? It's 2017, and older women date younger men. Some young women are looking for a mature man, some just want a sugar daddy, and some young men are looking for sugar mommas, while others are quite smitten with a mature woman as opposed to what they consider an immature younger woman. Young men are in relationships with older men. Young women are also in relationships with older women. The dynamic of relationships in 2017 is much different than it was 30 or 40 years ago. However, my parents were married for 50 years, and they were nearly 20 years in the difference. Back in the 1800's and early 1900's it was not uncommon for a young woman to marry a man at least her fathers age . The difference now is, men and women are far more equal in far more aspects of life, and so it's no longer uncommon to see an older woman take a younger lover. It's an ever changing world, and what people do and accept as "normal", is not what you might have thought some time ago. I would never assume or presume anything.

GeniUs · 56-60, M

|If you look good and somebody looks at you it's a compliment, a real one not an 'I want something from you' compliment.

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GeniUs · 56-60, M

If somebody looks and that's as far as it goes I'd take it as a compliment and since it isn't a crime of any description that's the best you can do with it. If you take it any other way who's going to get hurt by it? Not the person doing the looking.

PaleandPolluted · 36-40, F

@GeniUs: Suppose all they can do is imagine... they can't see anything..

GeniUs · 56-60, M

Maybe they don't know they're doing it, somebody once said to me, 'have I got a TV on my head?' Which I'm sure gave her a thrill (you always look at anybody who joins your table in a restaurant).

Ambroseguy80 · 51-55, M

Sorry you experience that!!!! There seems to be no on/off switch for others' stupidity.

PaleandPolluted · 36-40, F

Stare once but EVERYTIME and actually standing there entranced is horrible.

Ambroseguy80 · 51-55, M

@Paleandpolluted86: that's exactly right! The point I was making to GeniUs. Staring is too long. Glancing is acceptable.

PaleandPolluted · 36-40, F

@Ambroseguy80: I don't think they realise they are doing it.

zeeva70 · F

That's harassment.

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zeeva70 · F

@MartinTheFirst: you read something different or just being a jerk?

MartinTheFirst · 22-25, M

@zeeva70: im being a jerk in your eyes i guess

PaleandPolluted · 36-40, F

I actually did have someone in mind when I wrote this post it wasn't just random stares off men that last a few seconds

MartinTheFirst · 22-25, M

Well if i were to compliment you i wouldnt care about it if you thought i was a perv for it, i'd just be proud that I managed to get out of my shell.

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MartinTheFirst · 22-25, M

@Paleandpolluted86: that's just in your head though, he might see that youre 30

PaleandPolluted · 36-40, F

@MartinTheFirst: No I was 25 when I first met and others have commented that they thought I was early twenties when I was 28. He doesn't look as much now probably heard I'm 30 lol

SW-User

@Paleandpolluted86: there's no question that some scenarios are different than others, which I think further proves my point, that nothing is ever black and white. There are definitely pervs out there, and they prey on the vulnerable. However, not everyone who notices an attractive young woman or man, or an older man or woman, qualifies as a perv. I will even go so far as to say that just because a man or woman looks at a young teen, and finds them attractive, it does not mean that they see them as a sexual conquest. It's just like looking at a beautiful baby or a child and admiring their beauty. It's not dirty or perverse.....in most....MOST cases. There are of course exceptions, but we can only pray that those exceptions are few and far between in comparison to the decent people who are innocent in all of this. It's terrible that we now live in a society where we have to be so suspicious of everyone because of what a minority of perverts have done, but unfortunately, we do have to be cautious, and as a father of two little girls, I can't, and won't fault you for that. If anything, I encourage it.

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